lean on me.

Today while i left to run some errands, Adam kept Sonny home with him. Much to my delight, he was feeling a little sassy and surprised me with a video he made just to make me smile. I loved it so much I decided to share it with you (even though he says he looks "pale and dead"). It may not be as amusing to you if you are not familiar with his personality. So at the very minimum you should know...a.) he's cute b.) he's funny c.) he's tall
(by the way, he would completely disapprove of me saying anything he did was "sassy")

video diary-unemployed from team boo on Vimeo.

Elyott watched it and thought it was funny, buuuut later needed clarification that Dad was joking about feeling all the things he was "confiding" in Sonny about. Don't worry family, he IS working.
...kinda ;)

team Boo ♥'s you

famewhores unite (again!)

Things got extra hot and heavy here last post, but i am SO glad and i'll tell you why: It seems there were more than one of you who were pickin' up what i was puttin' down.  So thank you for allowing me to spill my guts to you. They are hopeful guts...guts that truly want you to be happy, guts that are glad you're here.

wait...what's that? you couldn't stop my guts even if you wanted to? 

Well then I guess we're all clear who's the boss around these parts (hint: it isn't Tony Danza).

Speaking of "pickin' up what i'm puttin' down"...don't i look a little like a street walker here??

 (a "private dancer" in neon lights if you will. Which is incidentally also a song by the unmatched Tina Turner, not to be confused with Sir Eltons John's "Tiny Dancer"...that i can't help but sing the substitute lyrics "hold me closer Tony Dan-zaaaa." Count 'em, that's two tony Danza references in one blog post, totally unplanned...weird.)

And speaking of "whoring oneself out" (for lack of a better term)...

I wanted to let you know that I have a new little brown button in my left sidebar. It's a blog that showcases baby and mommy blogs from all around the web (who am i kidding, it's a site where mommy bloggers exploit themselves to get their name in flashing lights). If you feel so inclined, click on it each day you're here...and then click again in the link to vote and show your team Boo support :)

Also, here's proof that I wasn't "hooking" on my free time...

...just a harmless date at the movies with team Boo :)

team Boo ♥'s you
*and can somebody please come confiscate all my belts for a little while!? 
can we say "DE-NI-AL"? sheesh.

ask boo: holy crap this the longest post known to man!

{via windsor for the derby}

When did you realize you needed to take anxiety medicine? I took anti-depressants a couple of years ago, but sometimes i get panic attacks, or really overwhelmed. How long have you been on them?

Good question. I've actually been meaning to get to this subject for some time now, but it's just so much more fun to talk about funny stuff than heavy stuff :)

So: after my first baby, I was down. Like a big fat downer. I didn't really know it at the time. I recovered, but never fully. Then I had another baby, I felt euphoric, and then a few months later: crash. Again not really putting two and two together. A couple years went by with me fading in and out of these feelings, all the while I lacked the coping skills to prevent a slowly compounding issue. Finally, over 4 years, I found myself in the midst of a foggy depression with a death grip on the light in my heart, but this time I couldn't get out. I began to doubt my core beliefs....everyone was annoying and self righteous. For me it wasn't about feeling sad but rather: irritable, insecure, severely unfocused, intolerant, impatient, defeated, reclusive, anxious about everything under the sun, unmotivated, overwhelmed, libido shot, guilt ridden, dissatisfied, inconsolable, self loathing, and a downright bummer to live with. I was truly Zombie-riffic.

Now before you write me off as the crabbiest most extreme case of all time that you can't relate to, know that I didn't necessarily feel all these things all the time or all at once, but they were a prominent theme in many of my days. I didn't want to be perceived as dramatic or needy, so almost none of my friends or family knew i was hiding this secret....i must have been a good faker ;) But behind closed doors, I'd have major breakdowns about once a week (at the peak of it), and I fantasized about being put into a coma to skip the "hard" parts of my life. I wanted to run through the wall, leaving a Carolyn shaped hole, and keep running...only i had no where to go, and no desires to be anywhere for that matter. Strangely, i couldn't even put my finger on what or why i felt this way. Sure, times were stressful financially (but whats new? plenty of people enjoy life with much less) I wanted to be a mother (always have) my husband was adoring and supportive (still is), so what the "H" was my deal?? My husband was confused and didn't know how to help. I didn't know how to help myself...
{click "TELL ME MORE " below to read the full article}

ask boo: home sweet home?

{via veer}

Are you from AZ? Do you plan to live there forever?

Hells no! I am originally from the bay area in California. I moved (begrudgingly) to Prescott, AZ the year before high school and have lived there or in the Phoenix valley ever since. I have never been a big fan. A lot of our family is here which is why we've stayed so long, but i dream of relocating almost daily (hopefully sooner than later). In the mean time it's basically just Stockholm Syndrome that keeps me sane. I do my best to like it here (and there are a lot of people who LOVE it in AZ) but aside from the heat, the parks are lame and the culture lacks character...so sometimes my spirit tends to feel a bit stifled. 

I'd love to move to the northwest where the trees are a plenty and people are...weirder. I want more space around my home where my kids can run wild. Preferably with a hill, where i could run to the top while singing and spinning...with my hands outstretched. 

Have a question? ask me about it here.

team Boo ♥'s you

stuff that's jacked and some that's funny...

Call me resentful, but if i read one more blog post about the "new autumn feeling" or the "changing fall colors", or the "hot cider and cardigan-wearing-crisp-air" i am going to projectile vomit all over my laptop. The closest we have come to Autumn here in AZ is the Winnie the Pooh on (what feels like) terminal repeat and a leftover pumpkin spice candle from 2009. When we are feeling particularly desperate we hole up in the basement to watch Harry potter. It usually ends with me alone, wearing my winter cloak, curled up in a fetal position. Its a sad attempt, but we are just trying to keep up with the Jones's ;)

Something that has made me smile despite my $600 dollar air conditioning bill...
The 30 Rock premiere played the "would you rather" game. 

Have you found your "pube shirt"? (watch the last 4 minutes)

I know i have...

I've been getting a kick out of the content inspired ads that Google comes up with in my side bar:

baby face generators
funny dirty joke finder?? (what-ev)

reading babies!?

actually baby face generators are kinda hilare.

last week i mixed Fred Armisen with an otter for Robin,

what did i expect?? 
A cute little fuzzy nerd, that's what. 
It was a no go...way to freaky mutant to post.

team Boo ♥'s you

defenseless cub: jersey shore

 I think i've successfully guilted all three of my "defenseless babies sellouts" to submit their entries. So allow me to officially introduce you to Cara and her rarely publicized cub:

First of all, Cara is so positively self aware its ridiculous. She's witty, and creative! She's knows how to be sensitive, and take time to be silly. She is introspective and tough. Private and reflective. Grateful and open-minded. She has been through a boatload of crazy, yet holds her head high and stays awesome by refusing to be pigeonholed and reminding herself to choose happiness and really live in the present (instead of just saying it and then forgetting like five seconds later, like me ;)

One of her recent "present moments" was dressing her adorable defenseless baby up like "Snookie." just for me?? 
i'd like to think so. 

Basically everytime she posts I want to quote her or whoever she is quoting, but i might as well just give you her link so you can see for yourself. I hope i haven't embarrassed you Cara. I suggest you get used to it though, cause you are kinda awesome.

oh and she's crafty. Check out her adorably embroidered onsies and headbands.

team Boo ♥'s you

willy wonker?

...that's what my kids call it anyway.

Sorry for the anti-climactic project boo:defenseless babies finale. This "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" concept I had much higher hopes for (the chocolate waterfall looks like a boring tree and there are no oompa loompas!) I guess I got a little lazy and he ended up looking more like a really lost blind hobo. But when I add too many props or detail, I am positive the universe whispers to Sonny that it all must be violently destroyed. Actually I think my lackluster motivation is just my total frustration with my piece of crap camera. It takes grainy ugly pictures that I just can't respect in the morning. 

Thanks to those who played! all five of you. Seriously Kelly, Cara, Maryposa no excuses...you are now on blog BFF watch. The defenseless babies edition is now going into retirement. Until Project Boo's next installment...enjoy yourself a little candy land paradise...with hardly any candy, what??

Mostly, thank you Sonny for being such a sweet treat. A real Sonny Delight! Thanks for smiling at all of mom's same old desperate tricks. Thanks for having Willy Wonka hair. And thanks for not realizing how embarrassing it is to wear your sisters purple velvet jacket.

team Boo ♥'s you

*don't forget to check out team cowan's second installment to the project boo defenseless babies edition! 
(What a brown noser ;)

So succexy.

So I am just as surprised as you are to say that "ask boo" has been a total success! Thanks for all those who have asked questions and for the comments you've left. I have to admit, every time I go to moderate my comments I do it with one eye closed and the other just peeking. I am just waiting for a nasty comment to rear its ugly head. so far so good.

My goal in sharing these things with you is so that some of you may relate, and maybe encourage others to realize crazy stuff happens to regular chicks. It seems as though by answering some questions, it has only given birth to new ones...yikes. I will answer a few more next week, but I probably won't get to all of them because I don't want to turn into one of those annoying spotlight-hoarding bad dates, barf. Soon all of these answers will be placed into an FAQ tab up top for you to read...at any time, until you can't stand my freaking guts.

until then...

team Boo ♥'s you

ask Boo: "babies havin' babies"

{via 9000}

How old were you and the hubs when you had Elyott? 

(it's getting juicy folks...)

Ah, my fave. Mostly cause when i tell people in person, i can literally hear the calculator buttons "be boop-ing" away in their heads. With this, while i'm at it, i might as well give you a little background into how this "Dikefest" came to be...

Adam and i were friends in high school. P.W.S.T (Pals With Sexual Tension, but only pals nevertheless.) We always dated other people, but somehow ended up going to homecoming together most years (you know, as friends). He told me in General business class he was gonna marry me someday. I told him he was dumb and his breath smelled (i was such a brat.). He told me "you'll see". It's these conversations that really started to lay the romantic foundation we have today ;) We randomly made out one time before we graduated and we went our separate ways to college. A couple semesters later we were still friends via sporadic telephone calls (all from him to me, i always had a strict "no calling boys policy" that he never agreed with...but guess what?? it worked sucka!). We made out one more time when he came to visit me at ASU and we were hooked. (yadi yadi yadda, skip ahead about 2 years...)

We got married at 19 (me) and 20 (him). And had our sweet Elyott (eh eghm...) 4 months later! I do not recommend this (referring to the timing, not the kid :) To me, my wedding was quite honestly, a disaster. I felt overwhelmed by our families and completely disoriented. Adam and i knew we were crazy about each other, but at that age I was so impressionable and unaccustomed to standing up for what i felt was best (which was take some time to get my bearings). Before long, we were thrust into parenting life before we even knew what hit us. 

Times were hard before we found our rhythm, but we powered through and were able to beat the odds. Adam is my most FAVORITE friend of all time! and such a great companion for me. I love him. like a lot. Plus he's hot. We figure out parenting and being in love day by day, just like everyone else. It's been 8 years of marriage and we are SO stoked to be together. Sometimes I forget how hard it felt in the beginning, because now (and i hate to sound trite) it is such an amazing experience to have under my belt. It was crazy, but we gained SO much faith in Heavenly Father's plan for us, LOVE and some good healthy perspective! 

"Blammo!" is what we like to say to the naysayers from long ago...

"We are the Dikes and we are nailing it!"

team boo ♥'s you

(BTW i stole that last line from Reagan who's family is also, so i've read, "nailing it")

ask Boo: "name that boo"

What was the inspiration behind your kids' names?

I do wish i had some adorable stories for you, but the inspired ideas for their names are rather ordinary, so sorry if the answer to this teamBoo FAQ is a snoozer.

"Elyott" was a name we liked when the show "Scrubs" was first on (the main female doctor of the show was Elliott Reed). Looking back I wish we had spelled it differently. I wanted it to look feminine, but it just ends up confusing people...plus the one "L" and two "t"s...I was a little delirious in the hospital after i delivered, and clearly wasn't thinking very logically. Also it's kind of a "Utah" thing to do...making up names. We still like you Utah-ians, but your names are frigging crazy. I do love her name though...it sets her apart and fits her "girly, yet rough and tumble" nature.

"Sheamus" was one of  teacher's sons names in high school. I always liked it, but knew it was "majorly off limits" since everyone knew I'd be "totally copying the 'cool' teacher." Then once i left the high school bubble, I realized that almost everything we worried about in there was completely ridiculous, so i named him that anyway. We added the "h" to american-ize it and because we felt it would be easier for people to pronounce. It worked. It is also an Irish form of "James" which is my Dad's name, that was a bonus. I have so many people tell me how much they love it and have never heard of it before...but i've heard it's like naming someone "Michael" in Ireland. Maybe i should just go with it and let them think i'm really original and cool. Either way.

"Sonny" just popped into my head one day when it was getting dangerously close to his due date (boy names suck). It was basically the sweetest name I had ever heard, and I knew it had to be mine. Plus it's perfect cause he is seriously the happiest smiliest baby i've ever met. He laughs at just about everything (walking him in a circle, putting his feet in my eye sockets, folding a blanket in front of him, etc.). I guess i lucked out with that cause imagine how awkward it would be if he were totally crabby and annoying all the time. But i guess you can ask me again in a couple years ;)

Oh plus, did i mention i have awesome taste? that's mostly why.

team boo ♥'s you

ask Boo: "the name game"

Your first name is "Carolyn" and your last name "Dike". So what's up with "teamBoo"?

We are actually more commonly known as the "Dikefests" but a little voice on my shoulder told me that that blog title might be slightly misleading. Pretty much any way you slice it, either my target audience wasn't going to find me, and/or my actual audience would be seriously let down. At the time I had recently rediscovered a few songs in my Itunes by Mates of State (a quirky husband and wife singing duo). I had never noticed before that one of their albums was called "team boo". It just stood out to me as an affectionate yet playful way of referring my often silly (if not inappropriate?) closeknit family. 

oh, and also i had no other ideas :)

team boo ♥'s you

ask boo: run for it

A few posts back, i promised you guys I'd answer some of your teamBoo questions that have undoubtedly been keeping you up at night. So here is the first of a series of "ask boo" posts that will probably blow your mind!...or put you to sleep.

(which could be good too...cause that's what you need right? sleep?...the questions...they've been keeping you up...remember?? gosh.)
here we go!

Regarding the running...are you training for a marathon or something? Have you ever run a marathon?

I have! two actually. They were crazy hard but awesome and strangely make me want to run more of them. The crappy parts are the long runs even if you go out of town, and the 5 day a week training. I felt like i lived at the gym. So while i do recommend a marathon, a half is much more conducive to having a life. 

Yes, unfortunately almost all my running is done on a treadmill since i can't fathom running inside an OVEN (Phoenix). Also i am a big scaredy cat when it comes to running alone outside, no matter what time of day it is. I'm SO jumpy if some perv honks, and I assume there is a rapist behind every bush. The key for me is to go with a number in mind: "today i am running 6 miles" then if i feel good i'll run more, if not, i stop at my goal number (although I never push through an injury). If i go just expecting to stop when i feel tired, i would in the first two or three miles every time (since that is about how long it takes for me to find a "rhythm") A lot of people say treadmills are boring. My gym has like 17 tv's in front of my face and i have music. Also i figure i am stuck with the same thoughts as i'd be if i were anywhere else, so i've adapted.

You'd have to talk to my hand if you tried to say you could never be a runner. I used to HATE it. Many people can't imagine being capable of running anything beyond a mile, but i assure you: you can (yes, you too Kami ;) Baby steps folks. The burning in your lungs and the side cramps go away after a couple weeks. I've seen people prove themselves wrong many times. I can tell you there is no time i feel more empowered and strong than when i have a good run (super cheese, i know). I crave it now. I think it's a great way to appreciate the amazing body you've been given. If you lived by me, i'd make you come with, and run your face off. 

I am not currently training, but am currently trying to get rid of about 15 lbs of baby weight. So i run a lot. The problem is...i eat a lot too :) 

team boo ♥'s you

Stay tuned for more of your "ask boo" questions.
(Boy, do i sound self absorbed right now or what?..."look at me i'm so interesting!!"

defenseless Ade: deep thinker

("confucius under the willow" by Heather Lewis)

We all know AZlewis. And if you don't, well i think it's time. If i know Heather, she has been dying for a good reason to put eyeliner on this kid; I am proud that the team boo: defenseless babies project could generate a safe place for this to be so (unless you are Angelina Jolie and you do it to your kid anyway, cause nothing you do seems weird after you made out with your own brother).

I was so entranced by all the silky stuff Heather owns, i almost missed the little cranes in the sky...nice touch. My favorite part though, is his little crossed baby leg all casual like "whatevs. i'm so wise, i don't even care"...makes me want to rip it off and eat it like a fried piece of chicken. Thanks for playing friend :)

team boo ♥'s you

defenseless Jude: Little man on the moon

("little man on the moon" by Lisa Handy)

Lisa is sweet little "defenseless" Jude's mom. Jude is one of those classic looking baldy munchkins that you just want rub like a Bhudda belly. To me that automatically makes him the little Harold and the Purple Crayon kid...and you wanna know an awesome coincidence about that?...his dad's name is actually Crockett! (same as the author of the Harold series) AND there is a book called Harold's Trip to the Sky and he draws the moon!! SEE!!!...

wait...it's just now occurring to me that this might of been Lisa's inspiration all along? now i feel dumb. Well either way, it doesn't diminish the fact that this picture is cute and i am glad that you played my defenseless babies project Lisa :)

team boo ♥'s you

mrs. roboto

I am always amazed when I hear my husband getting mad into the phone at an automated lady's voice. 

Cause, you know...it's a robot...void of empathy or reason.

Very polite mind you, but unable to pick on his usually very obvious social cues. Patronized, he'll talk louder, angrier...but despite her soothing well meaning tone, she (a robot) is clueless to his frustration and, thwarted by her programming limitations, talks in circles.

"It's not a real person" i try to telepathically remind him.

(he doesn't receive my message.)

(via the weekly print)

I, on the other hand, am very alive and human (but not nearly as polite as a robot) and i want to hear what you have to say!!

If by chance (despite my usual TMI) I've left something out that you are just itching to know about teamBoo, please ask me :) I do my best to check out each blog of those of you who comment or link to mine, but i know how disappointing it can be to have a comment feel overlooked. I assure you i read and appreciate them all! (although I don't always reply...what kind of comment hoarding snob have I become!?) Since i am so scatter brained, most of my well intended replies fall by the wayside, and now I am feeling bad for leaving some of you hanging.

SO...ask away! Then i will answer them for you here in post form and then to be moved to an FAQ section of sorts. Unless you have no questions, in which case i'll probably feel really dumb and completely regret this post. Then you can just comment me to get over myself.

(i am trying to get more organized around here, so bear with me on the changes)

Some ideas to get the ball rolling: Why am i more grossed out with touching my own feet than cleaning my kid's poop chunks out of a bath? Do i even LIKE my severely blog overlooked husband? How many times a day do i check my freezer for ice cream i know i've already eaten? Would i rather listen to mambo #5 on repeat for the rest of my life, or have boobs for hands? You know, stuff that really matters ;)

I promise, your message will be heard loud and clear.

team boo ♥'s you


*(seriously though this is also a place for regular questions too. Believe it or not, I'm NOT always being obnoxious. I have a normal amount of blah days and quiet moments. Remember how I take anxiety medicine guys? It keeps me in check. And i like that)

Gold Guns Girls.

*For the weekend, I will alleviate my blog of defenseless babies posts...and just post a picture of my...regular baby?? That's all i got folks :/ This is just in case some of you are getting tired of the same old thing: BABIES (let me guess...next you are going to try and tell me that puppies aren't cute? what kind of robots are you!?)

Hows about a little weekly high low?

-I found my calling in LIFE!! (besiiiides birthing and nurturing my children. no, it's not sewing) I can't tell you about it yet though. You know, just in case i flake out and find a new "calling" ;)

-My sisters and i took my mom out for a birthday dinner. Upon arrival, I accidentally shanked an up front parking spot from another car. I tried to back out, but the guy just blocked me in and stared me down like a crazy. A few minutes later i saw him walking with his family..."I'm sorry sir. I was trying to back out for you...i really didn't see you there" (I was genuinely sorry).  He just dogged me and tried to prove how dumb and rude i was since his wife was pregnant. BUT! what he failed to notice was:

a.) I was also in a car and obviously walking with an 8 months pregnant sister  

b.) i was carrying a new-ish baby in a carrier (have you ever carried one of those suckers? with the awkwardness factor, they might as well weigh like 400 lbs.)

and 

c.) my mom has no stomach! (to be fair, dude didn't know that last one, but i also didn't know his wife was pregnant cause...doiee, i don't have x-ray vision.) 

Why do people have to be so ugly? Its not even Christmas time yet!! ;)

-The planning has begun for church holiday parties 2010. My brain wheels are turning and i am excitedly tap dancing in my head. However, come October 29th, my feet will be trying to commit foot suicide.

-I went thrift store shopping with Elyott. I found SO much cute stuff for her! Red boots, green dress, classy witch shoes. Then i stumbled upon 3 amazing pairs of boots for me (like high quality awesome vintage) It was like the heavens rays were shining down and an awesome southern baptist choir was clapping and singing right there, in Savers. And then the record player screeched (and my fall wardrobe dreams dashed) when I went to put my stupid OGRE feet inside and they were ONE size too small. ALL three!! one. frigging. size. too. small. I out loud sang the sentence "whyyyy are my feet so stink-ing ginormoussss" Elyott got embarrassed. I seriously contemplated cutting my big toe off but, luckily for Elyott, we were in a big hurry.

keep those defenseless baby pictures coming!

team boo ♥'s you

defenseless Sawyer: otter out of water.

("soarin' sawyer" by Robin Ladle)

Are we sick of babies taking over my blog yet??

too bad suckers.

Robin birthed her fourth baby almost the same time i had my Sonny D. We took turns making fat pants jokes, and simultaneously dreamt of days when we'd be un-pregnant. And now we are! And now she has a sweet little Sawyer to take defenseless pictures of for Project boo:defenseless babies edition. 

One thing i love about Robin is her love for the "name that animal face" game. She is a self proclaimed "dinosaur meets lamb" combo, and Sawyer has been recently crowned a otter/simba mix. To me, he is more of an otter mixed with Fred Armisen combo, but now i'm getting really off track...the point is: Sawyer is SO cute and so is this photo! Thanks for playing Robin :)

*as adorable as he is in a hot air balloon, i think you need to make one of him....being otter-y.

team boo ♥'s you

defenseless Elle: under the sea

(by Melissa Krantz)

 Melissa was way too humble when she sent this to me (for teamBoo's annual project boo: defenseless babies edition) She second guessed her prop choices and discredited her natural creativity. Watch me as i figuratively shake her by the shoulders to remind her that she is 9 months pregnant and accomplished this task with a THREE year old!!! (but not too hard cause she's pregnant. and i don't want to get arrested) Not to mention the fact that it totally rocks. The CD's and the coins are so clever. My older kids keep getting jealous that i have only done these with Sonny, i suppose this means that i now have no excuse not to ;) Thanks for playing Melissa, i love it!

*Once i have the idea, these photos usually take me about 30 minutes from start to finish. But that's probably only because i am a creative GENIUS!

Seriously though, just try it. its fun...and free :) You wont regret it. Or maybe you will, but at least you'll get a cute picture out of it ;)

team boo ♥'s you

"sonny" with a chance of meatballs.

I did this photo shoot after my older kids got home from school. i do NOT recommend this. I felt like a total monster as i was getting it all set up, handing out threats faster than i could wipe the sweat off my forehead. Totally defeats the purpose of a playful picture. I felt bad. I apologized a few minutes later to which Elyott replied:

 "aw, its okay mom. you just forgot that it's not something that's so important, and that it was just for fun." 

If that's not a sucker punch of wisdom, i don't know what is.

Kids always keep you in check :)

*Also never mind the shadows on the wrong side of the sun. I guess things just work a little differently in the town of Chew-and-Swallow!

team boo ♥'s you