everything i need to know i learned from water babies...

rifle paper co.

It's been a little while since we've gone through teamBoo high/lows. So since we are SO interesting...lets recap the last month for us, shall we? 

-After weeks and countless hours of Helen Keller style training (where we put food in his hand, he avoids guided hand to his mouth like it is a steaming handful of poop) Sonny finally gave up the hungry baby bird act and put a piece of food in his own mouth!! = High Cockalorum!

-I thought i'd give my tailbone a break and buy an exercise ball for my long stints at my desk. But what is a giant rubber ball at a desk in the kitchen if not a giant wrecking object for my children to terrorize me with while i make food or try to clean in peace? Despite my constant threats of sitting sidesaddle on their backs (while the other fed me grapes?) if my ball chair wasn't there when i needed it, those little turds still managed to poke a hole in it and then nonchalantly place it back under my desk (tip of shoes tracing invisible circles on the ground "a hole you say?"). I half way read the directions of the inner tube repair kit (how hard can it be?) and my kids think they've dodged a bullet. Ten minutes later as i click away on my keyboard...BOOM! The ball explodes. And i am on my back on the cold tile faster than you can say "Child Protective Services". But how could i do anything but laugh? That's funny. Pathetic...but funny. I predict that story will go down in the books without the pre-hole disclaimer, but rather simply as "that time when mom was such a fat idiot that she sat on the seemingly indestructible exercise ball and completely smashed it to smitherines" = High, cause it's funny. Low cause i'm back to sitting on a hard chair :/

-Sheamus learned how to ride a two wheeler. But only after he and i got tangled up after a rogue wheel overcorrection and both came crashing spastically to the pavement (right in front of the only house on our street that has video surveillance cameras mind you)

-Sheamus swinging open the giant handicap accessible door that faces the dressing room entrance at Target while i am completely topless. yowza.

-a drizzly and saturday brunch where we ate bacon, listened to the sound of rain through the screen door, a little Billie Holiday on pandora and nobody tried to sabotage my fantasy by leaving the breakfast table so many times that i "jokingly" secured her in her seat with a tie chair. Nobody :) (A perfect sendoff to the nice AZ weather before it melts our faces.)

Hooray for kids that make life so entertaining...and a mother who has no shame! (since i am usually the butt of the joke ;) 

"Hey hey hey, we're on our way...."

team Boo ♥'s you

ask boo: holy crap this the longest post known to man!

{via windsor for the derby}

When did you realize you needed to take anxiety medicine? I took anti-depressants a couple of years ago, but sometimes i get panic attacks, or really overwhelmed. How long have you been on them?

Good question. I've actually been meaning to get to this subject for some time now, but it's just so much more fun to talk about funny stuff than heavy stuff :)

So: after my first baby, I was down. Like a big fat downer. I didn't really know it at the time. I recovered, but never fully. Then I had another baby, I felt euphoric, and then a few months later: crash. Again not really putting two and two together. A couple years went by with me fading in and out of these feelings, all the while I lacked the coping skills to prevent a slowly compounding issue. Finally, over 4 years, I found myself in the midst of a foggy depression with a death grip on the light in my heart, but this time I couldn't get out. I began to doubt my core beliefs....everyone was annoying and self righteous. For me it wasn't about feeling sad but rather: irritable, insecure, severely unfocused, intolerant, impatient, defeated, reclusive, anxious about everything under the sun, unmotivated, overwhelmed, libido shot, guilt ridden, dissatisfied, inconsolable, self loathing, and a downright bummer to live with. I was truly Zombie-riffic.

Now before you write me off as the crabbiest most extreme case of all time that you can't relate to, know that I didn't necessarily feel all these things all the time or all at once, but they were a prominent theme in many of my days. I didn't want to be perceived as dramatic or needy, so almost none of my friends or family knew i was hiding this secret....i must have been a good faker ;) But behind closed doors, I'd have major breakdowns about once a week (at the peak of it), and I fantasized about being put into a coma to skip the "hard" parts of my life. I wanted to run through the wall, leaving a Carolyn shaped hole, and keep running...only i had no where to go, and no desires to be anywhere for that matter. Strangely, i couldn't even put my finger on what or why i felt this way. Sure, times were stressful financially (but whats new? plenty of people enjoy life with much less) I wanted to be a mother (always have) my husband was adoring and supportive (still is), so what the "H" was my deal?? My husband was confused and didn't know how to help. I didn't know how to help myself...
{click "TELL ME MORE " below to read the full article}

stuff that's jacked and some that's funny...

Call me resentful, but if i read one more blog post about the "new autumn feeling" or the "changing fall colors", or the "hot cider and cardigan-wearing-crisp-air" i am going to projectile vomit all over my laptop. The closest we have come to Autumn here in AZ is the Winnie the Pooh on (what feels like) terminal repeat and a leftover pumpkin spice candle from 2009. When we are feeling particularly desperate we hole up in the basement to watch Harry potter. It usually ends with me alone, wearing my winter cloak, curled up in a fetal position. Its a sad attempt, but we are just trying to keep up with the Jones's ;)

Something that has made me smile despite my $600 dollar air conditioning bill...
The 30 Rock premiere played the "would you rather" game. 

Have you found your "pube shirt"? (watch the last 4 minutes)

I know i have...

I've been getting a kick out of the content inspired ads that Google comes up with in my side bar:

baby face generators
funny dirty joke finder?? (what-ev)

reading babies!?

actually baby face generators are kinda hilare.

last week i mixed Fred Armisen with an otter for Robin,

what did i expect?? 
A cute little fuzzy nerd, that's what. 
It was a no go...way to freaky mutant to post.

team Boo ♥'s you

Gold Guns Girls.

*For the weekend, I will alleviate my blog of defenseless babies posts...and just post a picture of my...regular baby?? That's all i got folks :/ This is just in case some of you are getting tired of the same old thing: BABIES (let me guess...next you are going to try and tell me that puppies aren't cute? what kind of robots are you!?)

Hows about a little weekly high low?

-I found my calling in LIFE!! (besiiiides birthing and nurturing my children. no, it's not sewing) I can't tell you about it yet though. You know, just in case i flake out and find a new "calling" ;)

-My sisters and i took my mom out for a birthday dinner. Upon arrival, I accidentally shanked an up front parking spot from another car. I tried to back out, but the guy just blocked me in and stared me down like a crazy. A few minutes later i saw him walking with his family..."I'm sorry sir. I was trying to back out for you...i really didn't see you there" (I was genuinely sorry).  He just dogged me and tried to prove how dumb and rude i was since his wife was pregnant. BUT! what he failed to notice was:

a.) I was also in a car and obviously walking with an 8 months pregnant sister  

b.) i was carrying a new-ish baby in a carrier (have you ever carried one of those suckers? with the awkwardness factor, they might as well weigh like 400 lbs.)

and 

c.) my mom has no stomach! (to be fair, dude didn't know that last one, but i also didn't know his wife was pregnant cause...doiee, i don't have x-ray vision.) 

Why do people have to be so ugly? Its not even Christmas time yet!! ;)

-The planning has begun for church holiday parties 2010. My brain wheels are turning and i am excitedly tap dancing in my head. However, come October 29th, my feet will be trying to commit foot suicide.

-I went thrift store shopping with Elyott. I found SO much cute stuff for her! Red boots, green dress, classy witch shoes. Then i stumbled upon 3 amazing pairs of boots for me (like high quality awesome vintage) It was like the heavens rays were shining down and an awesome southern baptist choir was clapping and singing right there, in Savers. And then the record player screeched (and my fall wardrobe dreams dashed) when I went to put my stupid OGRE feet inside and they were ONE size too small. ALL three!! one. frigging. size. too. small. I out loud sang the sentence "whyyyy are my feet so stink-ing ginormoussss" Elyott got embarrassed. I seriously contemplated cutting my big toe off but, luckily for Elyott, we were in a big hurry.

keep those defenseless baby pictures coming!

team boo ♥'s you

look how amazing i am, i'm playing with my kid...

 (okay, that title sounds bitter. I promise i'm not. K maybe a little. Just kidding, that would be lame. Even if i were bitter, I wouldn't tell you. Actually i probably would....shut up, your face is bitter!)


I've seen this project like a bajillion times, so i thought we'd give it a go.
Don't be fooled by the pretty colors...cause it may not be all its cracked up to be (hint: it's not). I think it caught on because people probably want to look all artsy and hands on, but what they're not telling you is you will most likely get stuck at the counter peeling 95% of the 200 broken crayons cause your kid is being a spaz about having "yucky hands."  Your thumb will be throbbing for three days from the rainbow of wax jammed under your thumb nail...it will also ruin your cute little heart rubber ice trays. 


It was, however, a good way to get this kid to stop changing his clothes 27 times a day, stop flipping off the furniture like a maniac, and just kick it with his ma. So i guess it was a success after all :)

this weekend:

high: I ran 12 miles on Saturday, hooray!

(buuuut...now my toenails are falling off)

high: My hair is finally starting to stop falling out in clumps. super nast. (hair in everything. you can't hide from it. its a post pregnancy nightmare)

(but...also, someone left me a comment to let me know i looked like "FLO the progressive insurance lady". sweet. I used to cringe when I got "Amanda Bynes" who isn't bad but all i hear is "hi, you have chubby cheeks". Sorry "Mr. Apricot"...this is worse)

"bitterness on aisle three"

team boo ♥'s you

so when you feel like hope is gone, look inside you and be strong.

wanna hear something 75% hillarious, but 100% pathetic?

...today after i posted about my glorious teamBoo pillow giveaway. you know the one. the one that isn't perfect but is free and awesome? the one where all you have to do is comment that you are already a teamBoo follower (cause i have eyeballs and i know you're there) and you are in the running? 

i'll tell you what happened....i LOST two followers.

I realize the heart is a little big and the talking part looks a wee bit like a clam foot, but seriously are you guys allergic to free stuff? Are you afraid that since i always tell you how scummy i am, there will be boogers on it or something?? Do you not like LOVE?!? this is about encouraging me to keep sewing guys. sheesh ;)

Then Sheamus pooped in the bath. you know, the kind that breaks into a bajillion pieces but that are still too big to go down the drain. Adam played the "sensitive gag reflex" card (said in a dopey voice that he'd claim he sounds nothing like), and i cleaned it up solo.

BUT its cool cause then Elyott (who BTW came home from school today in a thrifted full unicorn costume that my sister surprised her with during carpool...amazing) reminded me that, amongst all her very precocious verbal skills, she still refers to the Falcon (her school mascot) as a "Phallic-on"

...that always makes me giggle. i'm basically a ten year old boy inside.

team boo ♥'s you

nine lives.

(okay just nine of my faces. nine lives just sounded cooler)

Yesterday I got ready for church with the help of Reagan from Hairdresser on Fire tutorial. She's cute and so very charming. I can use a little charm in my life. (although my bangs look a little '90's here, they were supposed to look old fashioned, whatevs.) So while i nursed sonny in the mothers lounge (does your church have that? they are the best. that way you can nourish your baby and skip the boring parts, guilt free ;) anyway, i took these pictures with my new incredibooth app.  Three posts in a row with pictures of me? See how much i love myself now?!? (that was a joke. i just got ready. for once.) now i'm all up in your business. suck it self consciousness.

So how about a little weekly high/low to keep ourselves in check?

Today i literally licked my taco plate clean. tongue to plastic. In my defense it had yummy homemade salsa on it and I had just run 6 miles. but still, I think we can easily count that as this weeks low. you think?

This weeks high point? why thanks for asking...sunday breakfast dinner when i was so hillarious that Elyott peed laughing. (actually i'm not really that funny. she pees all the time. it was still awesome though.)

team boo ♥'s you

chew on this

Just because summer is almost over, doesn't mean I can't still look hot. No, not that kind of "hot"...the sweaty-faced-jeans-are-sticking-to-my-legs kind of hot.

today's lows:

-having nothing but donuts and sugar in my stomach since last thursday (when life got even crazier than usual).

-having the air conditioning in my house stop working.

-trying to clean up my explosion of a house after the fundraiser in a stuffy 89 degrees. 

-the 11 loads of laundry (not exaggerating) waiting to be folded heaped on my bed.

...yet its redeeming qualities:

-Elyott came home from school with DRY pants.


-Adam is making dinner without being asked (wait, what?)


-I am officially done cleaning up the garage sale stuff (thank you MISTI!) YEE HAW!!!!