all day long i'd biddy biddy bum...

 

{my kids doing the "free-est" thing there is. yay crayons.}

The following conversations took place in the very same day:

Sheamus: "Mom, can we have a sale?" (a fudge, otter pop, lemmy stand...how he sometimes earns money for a toy he is saving up for)
Me: "sorry charlie, not today."
Sheamus: "awe man, but I just love money money money!"
Me: (break out into muffled radio voice) "the best things in life are free. but you can give them to the birds and bees, i want MONEY. that's what i want."
Sheamus: (total confusion)
...
Elyott: "There is this boy in my class who is in a contest to win like a thousand dollars. If he wins, then ALL the pretty girls will like him!"


Me: (speechless)

There appears to be a very delicate line between trying hard to make sure my kids realize the value of money and making them straight up obsessed with it. I try to make sure that going to a store does not always end with a toy. Or that as a family we have to wait for special occasions to be "fancy" (for instance, buying drinks with our drive through order) One time while at our friend's house (a fancy friend's house) they ordered a pizza and had it delivered. Elyott's jaw just about hit the floor.

Now I know there is a natural correlation that can be drawn at a very young age that money = entertainment, stuff and convenience. But screw you reality TV (and the music industry) for making it so obvious to my second grader that even the jankiest of wealthy men have flocks of beautiful woman vying for their affections. It's a disgrace i tell you! 

...you see Elyott, regardless of how much a man can earn...ugly girls like money too.

team Boo ♥'s you

dirty deeds act one: demolition

When i was little we had a "playhouse" in our side yard. It was a bare bones shed with no drywall or insulation that housed our barbie "mansion" (old changing table) and all other dolls too ugly to be in the house (more Detroit than Malibu Barbie). One day i decided to make a change. With my eight year old resources, i set to work...

Crayons.

That was my genius plan. I started before i thought it through (of course) and i finished the diagonal purple and green stripes (a color scheme that my even my young mind realized were similar to the "Joker" colors and hated immediately) on about 1/10th of the wall before i quit. It stayed that way until the day we moved 4 years later.

On Monday when i asked Adam when we could start on the basement renovations he said "in the next few weeks." Does he even know me at all?? Once he left for school I went downstairs to assess the situation. About 10 minutes later i was knocking out walls with a hack saw and my bare feet. But not before i handed Elyott my cell phone to call 911 just incase i electrocuted myself (the "genius" element of my grownup story. nice mother.) Sheamus jumped around my reckless abandon shouting awesome one liners like: "mom! i am SO impressed!" and "wow, you are wild!" or my fave "you are such a good PERSON!!" (I love when kids lack the vocabulary to express themselves like a regular boring adult...or "humans" as Sheamus would call them.)

Anyway my point is, what turned out as a totally impulsive remodel, unlike my failed childhood attempts...I finished! And by "remodel" i mean the smashing of things like a crazy person, and by "finished" i mean there aren't any half standing walls or rusty nails left on the playroom floor. My bruised heels are proof that ain't no contest loss that can take this odd jobs down. 

Total butch-style demolition: check.

team Boo ♥'s you

dirty bit.

Sometimes i am inspired to blog based on a song. In the summer time i morph into a twangy idiot so...you have something to look forward to there. Yesterday while Elyott was in the shower and Sheamus in the adjacent bath, much to my delight i overheard this glorious conversation:

Elyott: "Sheamus listen to this song i made up....(to the tune of Dirty Dancing's 'I've had the time of my life')....Ching. Chong. Ping ling ching wing woooong. ching chang pang ti tang ting ling ling looong...."


Sheamus: "whoa, i didn't know you knew Chinese!?"

Thank you Will-I-am for getting my kids up to speed.  


So...what are you listening to? I need some inspiration! I am drawn to female lead singers (a little electronic feel is a bonus). I love music. too bad my "mom bones" have eroded my dance moves. You know when they say if you make a stupid face and someone pats you on the back it will stick like that? Well, the same goes for dancing. If you "joke dance" long enough and then birth a child, your skills freeze in time and suddenly you can only think of two moves ever and when you do them you look like you are having a (sexy) seizure. 

team Boo ♥'s you

Conway Twitty sees the light

I like to use the classic "three strikes you're out" policy when it comes to mass email forwarding...

-The first time, assuming the "10 ways to recycle old pantyhose" was merely a knee jerk reaction to watching Inconvenient Truth amidst a dry spell in their Netficks queue, they get the benefit of the doubt. 

-The second one you cock your head to the side, erase without opening, and go back to eating your cereal hoping that they just forgot they had already used their "freebie". 

-The third is like the sick feeling you get when your friend starts a sentence with "believe me I totally get how annoying those multilevel marketing people are, but there's this opportunity..."

And that's the deal breaker my friends.

Unless, of course, you are my mother-in-law. 

...In which case no matter how many home remedies, kittens doing the "darndest things", and musical friendship video clips she sends your way...she is exempt from getting 86ed off the ole contact list. Plus she's sweet. and also she birthed and raised the love of your life...so she could probably shave the magical healing locks of Sonny's hair and i'd have to love her anyway.

Yesterday i received a gem that cannot go unshared (to ensure you are picking up what I'm puttin' down). In sweet pure hearted Jeanine fashion, the disclaimer at the top read "This is truly beautiful! Turn the volume up..."

And before you go thinking what an unbelievable douche i am for mocking a Jesus montage, please know: i did what i was told and turned the volume up...and therefore couldn't help but notice the awesome cowboy giving his two cents in the background. Ready set go...

....

Do i have the blackest heart of all time?...or are you laughing too? I love Jesus. I do! But here at team Boo nothing is safe from a good laugh, not even my own children. Oh who am i kidding...especially not my own children! And much to Sheamus's sweet five year old dismay, some things he's said recently are just too cute NOT to laugh...

 "Mom...How will i ever get big if i don't like gross food?"

 "Elyott, if i were a binky...would you suck on me?"

 "Elyott are you sure you want to go to the gym?...cause you might have to poop at the gym."

Recap: Jesus. Sheamus. Two of the purest people i can think of. Still funny when you add twangy one liners, or (legit) warnings about pooping in public.

team Boo ♥'s you

**Attention team boo enthusiasts**
re-blog this post and tell me about it right here! Through a series of featured posts (this being the third) over the next couple weeks you will have a chance to win a very exclusive (but still very secret) custom team boo gift! No it wasn't be made by me...pshew!! but it is adorable!

what's in an age?

I peed my pants well into my 20's. As a kid, my sisters would hold me down and make me laugh until i peed (it didn't take much). Once, when i was pregnant with Elyott, I had to change my pants 7 times during one particularly hilarious game night. SEVEN times. I was 19. I thought it's what every little giggly girl did, until I grew up and very few of my friends could relate to my pants wetting confession. It isn't my most proud feature, but there it is (for the record i haven't in like 5 years ;)

My daughter Elyott can relate to this. like 100%. 


And it is ultra disgusting when i go to check if her clothes are clean or dirty and i (without fail) take WAY too big of a whiff (when just a little sniff would've sufficed)...and then my face melts off. And then i think, "uhhh! when is she gonna grow out of this!?" and then the little cricket that lives in my clock reminds me of my first sentence of this blog post (damn.) 

Then sometimes I stress about Elyott seeming "so big" already at the ripe age old age of 8. Like how most of her conversations have a varied but certain degree of precociousness (i'm sure every mother kinds feels this way about their kid) but more specifically lacking that awesome preschool aged janky vocabulary set. Most of the time she is usually pretty spot on when she is figuring something out, and I start to long for the days when she said and did really awesome and ridiculous things like: pulled her halter top shirts down below her nipples cause she thought it looked "fancy" or sang the lyrics "popcorn popping on the 'rake-a-dot' tree!" (instead of "apricot") or when she was a baby and we'd say "i love you" and she'd say a very efficient "too"...OR when she laid her clothes out for school to look like this.

At what point are we "matured"? Does it happen over night? Is it a certain age? What qualifies as being grown up? Does it even matter? 

A few nights ago, while talking with Elyott in her bed (this is the time of day when my kids often get very big picture-y and sentimental, sometimes to the point of weepiness ...Sheamus: "when i go to college will you come with me?" or the classic "mom I don't want you to get white hair cause then you'll die!") She asked me this adorable question:

Elyott: "Mom, if God loves us so much and wants us to be safe, then why did he create Lions?"

Me being the over explainer that i am, gave her some very logical answer (plus, for as long as i can remember, those are the only ones she will accept anyway. Sometimes we call her "logical Mcgee"...clever, i know.) But inside, i melted at the adorable youth she still maintains, cause seriously that is the cutest question for such a thoughtful little girl.

Those who know us could observe that in some ways she might be more mature than me...or if nothing else my equal ("if peeing your pants is cool, consider us miles davis") But the innocence and sweet intent of her heart is pure...just like a kid's should be. And that is something I hope I always strive to "regress" to. Screw growing up! Let's all be little!!

(but maybe minus the peeing your pants part ;)

 A very happy belated birthday post to you my sweet girl! You are just the right age for me :) (also...what kind of a jerk mom tells the world that you pee your pants? this one.)

team Boo ♥'s you

a gif far you.

I am still working tirelessly on my valentines video, but my computer can't seem to handle all the love! ...hopefully by tonight? While you wait, between my computer crashes i will share Sheamus's sweet valentine to his daddy:

"dear dad-

Happy valentines day. I wonder when we are gonna play video games? Help Sonny be safe. Now the Valentines card is almost ready and i wish your wish comes true when you wish upon a star. Don't litter the earth and I hope you be healthy and don't yell at people. And when I'm done with this card make a valentine card for me, ok. I love you. 

love, 

Sheamus"

team Boo ♥'s you

Never say never.

{via veer}

Love is:

the BEST!

(except when it's not)

Elyott says that pretty much all the girls in her class have boyfriends, but they don't go to their school. 

I said "that probably means they don't really have boyfriends."

"No, they do!" she says "it's Justin 'Bea-ver'" 

My guess is that, unbeknownst to him, he's dating every second grader on the planet (that two timing piece of crap). So it has finally happened guys...

...Elyott is 8 years old. and she has "Beaver" Fever. 

And despite it's borderline inappropriate and very unintended pun, I just don't have the heart to correct her on his name...yet. Also i have just been informed that baby words like "tummy" and "potty" and "bum" are officially graduated in Elyott land. Which makes sense now that "Beav" is a household name ;)

team Boo ♥'s you


(Miley Cyrus is SO five minutes ago)

The last dandelion.

Sheamus is such a face melter. And he really doesn't even try. He has no ulterior motives, and is so very thoughtful...he's kinda like a Winnie the Pooh movie personified. For example, yesterday we went to the park to take our minds off a particularly serious "brain injury" of his. After his brain "healed", he played a little in the grass and a few minutes later brought me what he described as the "last dandelion of the season." It was sweet enough in itself to offer to me, but then before we blew it out together, he wished for "mom for a new camera"...and that's when the total face meltdown was complete. (This can only be something he has overheard and remembered how much i long for) Where did this kid come from?

team Boo ♥'s you

Grow up and blow away

Elyott: "mom, what was your name when you were little?"


Me: "i always used to wish it was 'Sally' but it was 'Carolyn' just like it is now"


Elyott: (giggling in disbelief) "mom! That's a grown ups name!!"


Me: "well if you want to get technical, it's more like a 55 year old lady bus driver's name."


Elyott: (completely ignoring how right i was) "I wonder what my name will be when I grow up..."

team Boo ♥'s you 

breakfast of champions.

...all mornings should begin in dress up.

Last night's conversaysh with my boy:

me: "Hey you sweet boy, you smell like....a hotdog!!"

Sheamus: "no silly, Daddy is just cooking a hotdog!"

me: "oh duh, i guess you're right ;)"

Sheamus: "mom, wanna know what your smell like?" then coyly whispers in my ear ..."beautiful"

(melted)

team Boo ♥'s you


i know this is getting lame, but if you are down with teamBoo vote here :)

"sonny" with a chance of meatballs.

I did this photo shoot after my older kids got home from school. i do NOT recommend this. I felt like a total monster as i was getting it all set up, handing out threats faster than i could wipe the sweat off my forehead. Totally defeats the purpose of a playful picture. I felt bad. I apologized a few minutes later to which Elyott replied:

 "aw, its okay mom. you just forgot that it's not something that's so important, and that it was just for fun." 

If that's not a sucker punch of wisdom, i don't know what is.

Kids always keep you in check :)

*Also never mind the shadows on the wrong side of the sun. I guess things just work a little differently in the town of Chew-and-Swallow!

team boo ♥'s you

girl you know its true.

 (sheamus pouting cause his teeth are real...and white)

this week:

...was chalk full of dental work. Elyott had 8 cavities. EIGHT! One that ended up with a silver crown. I told her it was fancy. Sheamus came home from school in a good mood until he saw Elyott's "golden tooth" and was completely jealous. It probably didn't help that i told him to go look at the buried treasure she had in her mouth. It's okay though, we've devised a plan of fruit snacks before bed each night that will put him well on his way to a full grill by 1st grade. 


Then I went and got a couple fills into two holes i'd aquired from gritting my teeth at night (another reason i am adorable when i sleep). Adam told me when i got home that he "could tell my face was swollen". Only it wasn't, cause all they did was put some composite in the tops. Thanks though. That may or may not have driven me into the warm embrace of like three ice cream sandwiches.

I know I have (even recently) subscribed to the word "amazeballs." However, and you can call me a word snob, it is officially 86'ed out of my life and you wanna know why? Because I heard Juliana Rancic say it on E news last week, and i threw up a little in my throat. You know the girl that stands next to Ryan Secrest and weighs like 56 pounds (and is "trying SO hard to gain 5 pounds so she can get pregnant" but is full of crap cause i know the real reason she hasn't and it's cause she's made of wax. And wax people can't birth children cause...they are wax. but maybe, that's also why she hasn't been able to gain weight?? aww, now i feel bad. Sorry Juliana.) That's why.


*tomorrow i will be choosing a winner for the pillow giveaway cause...

 ooh ooh ooooh Boo ♥'s you
(remember? cause the title was a Milli Vanilli reference...keep up guys)

*also don't feel dumb if you have used this word here before...you didn't know better ;) I'm just simply trying to make the world a better place...one word at a time.

today is not a dress rehersal...it is your life.

(i am trying to be better about inserting myself into my life exploitation/blog...I'm pretty uncomfortable posting pictures of myself. It makes me feel vain. or like you'd imagine i was all "ooh this is an awesome picture of me" and you'd be all "meh" But seriously there aren't many days when i am not a total dirty slob, so its slim pickin's. This one is in disneyland on the POTC ride. The first two sheamus smiled and i looked like a tranny. The third I looked fine but sheamus's "cheese" face was lacking enthusiasm. But guess what? I am the teamBoo captain so MY normal picture wins. booyah) 

moving on to less lame tangents....

Today sheamus talked to the garbage can. Actually he does this on occasion. "hang on" he said "I'll get your other tooth soon.....My food (garbage) is your candy, huh"

Today Elyott had the "BEST day EVER!" She had the same snack at school as her friend Hope. I love this.

Today Sonny pooped on my lap.

Today Adams crustache was off the hook. He went to the gym with it unshaved, and a cutoff t-shirt with his own face printed on the front. Hows that for confidence!?

Today i realized I could "fit" into an pre-pregnancy pair of pants. Translation: it fit over my butt without giving me a giant camel toe. (...buuuuut I still have to tie the top button with a hair thing).

Almost. almost.

What happended in your "today"?

team boo ♥'s you

happy trails.

{This is us passing what was quite possibly the stinkiest highway on the planet}

Some things we've discovered on our trip: -Adam and I have super opposite tastes in music. Well actually we already knew this quite well. But for reconfirmation, I listened to his euro top 40 from 2007 about 27 times before I played one run through of Vampire weekend. Our conversaysh went something like this: (Adam) "are we almost done listening to the crappiest music of all time" ...(me) "yes we finished about 45 minutes ago"...(Adam) "no this. it's like that lame song Chevy Chase dances to" ...He meant Paul Simon. I meant to slap him in the mouth. He's lucky he was driving. -we are the SLOWEST travelers. We can take any 12 hour car ride and turn it into an 18 hour car ride. I mostly blame Adam as he takes twice as long as any woman to leave anywhere. In his defense, im pretty sure he just started his period. It works for us though, we are chillaxers by nature, so we still manage to love eachother the whole way. -my kids lose respect for me once the engine is on. Once when they were messing around and kicking the radio controls in the back. After 17 warnings to shut their faces, I reach to smack at their feet. They start hysterically laughing at me, and I can't help but laugh at my spazzy Joan Crawford moment. -Adam likes to rub it in when he poops 14+ inch dukes, even after I haven't gone in like 4 days. I tell him that's a cruel and equally weird thing to brag about. He stands by his accomplishment. -my kids are definitely retarded at plugging their noses (see above) -road trips turn us all into filthy animals We are on the road yet again (Disneyland here we come) the baby is screaming and we are pulling over for the bajillionth time for me to nurse him... ...we are in road trip heaven :) happy trails friends.

team boo ♥'s you

jemma is ONE-ish

Last weekend the sisters/family constructed yet another last minute party. Pulled together in less than 24 hours from start to finish.(minus the adorable invitation above) This one was for the sweet and daring Jemma who turned one years old, ehgm....2 months ago

Anyway, I left in the morning run party errands with bed head, no makeup, running shorts and an ACDC shirt i'd been wearing for at least 48 hours.

WILL I NEVER LEARN??

repeat in mirror: "Shower before party...shower before party"

...because without fail, this is what I will end up wearing for the party!

So, when my sister began snapping pictures of me once it had started (after she was given time to go freshen up while I deep fried corndogs) my tallest finger couldn't help but stand up. "Carolyn!" she'd say "...just smile like Lisa!"....to which Lisa replied "Oh I'd be flipping you off too if I weren't tying ribbons around your hotdogs." (and sadly we were...well, parchment paper and bakers twine...whatever, it made sense at the time) That pretty much summed it up right there.

When all was said and done, it was the most fun one year old birthday party I've ever been to :) we sure love you Jem!

The above invite created by the always fantastic and creative Stephanie Kubal

She never ceases to amaze...she has SO much talent! {sayRED creative...where your customized artwork dreams come true!}

*fun fact...In my mad birthday rush (and sporting my au natural beauty) i ran into none other than my favorite couple on the planet! OF COURSE THEN. If I weren't in such a hurry I'd have taken a picture to document the magical moment....but then I'd have had to flip myself off :( you understand. Stacey + Geoff 4 eva.

team boo ♥'s you

(and Jemma)

(and sayRED)

(and Steoffery)

touche'

For mother's day my kids went with Adam to pick out some sweet little things of their choice.

One trip to Walmart later, and my jewelry collection was $23 dollars improved.

A pearl "wedding ring" that my kids were so relieved to see on my usual bare hand

(...my original fell in the ocean only one month after purchase. wah wahhhh)

Some colorful earring studs...Elyott liked the star ones with diamonds inside, sure to make the scuzziest of mothers feel her fanciest

And finally a silver heart locket set engraved with "mom" (think sailor tattoo)

As we stepped out for church, i donned a little of everything, sure to impress, and asked Elyott and Sheamus in the hoitee toiteest voice i could do...

"How do I looook?!"

Elyott looked over at me straight faced, and very patronized, and said:

"Mom. you don't have to say it like that."

...and just like that I graduated from a mom to a MOOOOM.

team boo ♥'s you

This, my friends, is why little boys rock....

Lately I have been a little grouchy.

my days becoming progressively non structured and non-inventive

with sporadic spurts of cleaning or walking the aisles of Target or something

It's my fault because somewhere in the last few weeks I began to assume that by now,

this baby would be on the flip-side of my lady bidness.

Luckily I have to rays of sunshine that remind me hourly how lucky I am to have my "everyday"

Yesterday morning Sheamus crawled into bed with me after a "bad dream"

(about a monster who wanted to tell him jokes??)

and professed his love to his stuffy nosed crab of a mother

and it turned out to be just what I needed:

Me checking the time in the early hours....

"You have a clock on your phone!?! Your're so funny momma...(whispers) and BEAUTIFUL.

I'm keeping this momma.

And I'm not gonna say i hate blue houses anymore...

(something he says when he wishes he lived at his cousins yellow house instead of our blue one)

cause you're the only one I want to hug! I love you mommy, you're so comfy.

When are we allowed to kiss your lips again??"

(since I have a major cold)

Basically this means that I can't keep griping about the stretch mark that is slowly spreading further up my belly.

I mean, I CAN...

But maybe i should just get over myself ;)

There are very few things in life that make my heart sing more than hearing a little munchkin voice call me "momma"

life is good.

team boo ♥'s you

more than a food baby.

27 weeks..................................31 weeks

Sheamus: "Mom are you have three babies??" (taking into account my 2 "ball tummies")

Me: "Nope, just one little baby boy :)"

Sheamus: "Well mom....It looks like you are turning into Santa Clause"

sweet. Here's to being jolly and jiggly (but with slightly less facial hair).

Ho Ho HO.

team boo ♥'s you