ask Boo: "babies havin' babies"

{via 9000}

How old were you and the hubs when you had Elyott? 

(it's getting juicy folks...)

Ah, my fave. Mostly cause when i tell people in person, i can literally hear the calculator buttons "be boop-ing" away in their heads. With this, while i'm at it, i might as well give you a little background into how this "Dikefest" came to be...

Adam and i were friends in high school. P.W.S.T (Pals With Sexual Tension, but only pals nevertheless.) We always dated other people, but somehow ended up going to homecoming together most years (you know, as friends). He told me in General business class he was gonna marry me someday. I told him he was dumb and his breath smelled (i was such a brat.). He told me "you'll see". It's these conversations that really started to lay the romantic foundation we have today ;) We randomly made out one time before we graduated and we went our separate ways to college. A couple semesters later we were still friends via sporadic telephone calls (all from him to me, i always had a strict "no calling boys policy" that he never agreed with...but guess what?? it worked sucka!). We made out one more time when he came to visit me at ASU and we were hooked. (yadi yadi yadda, skip ahead about 2 years...)

We got married at 19 (me) and 20 (him). And had our sweet Elyott (eh eghm...) 4 months later! I do not recommend this (referring to the timing, not the kid :) To me, my wedding was quite honestly, a disaster. I felt overwhelmed by our families and completely disoriented. Adam and i knew we were crazy about each other, but at that age I was so impressionable and unaccustomed to standing up for what i felt was best (which was take some time to get my bearings). Before long, we were thrust into parenting life before we even knew what hit us. 

Times were hard before we found our rhythm, but we powered through and were able to beat the odds. Adam is my most FAVORITE friend of all time! and such a great companion for me. I love him. like a lot. Plus he's hot. We figure out parenting and being in love day by day, just like everyone else. It's been 8 years of marriage and we are SO stoked to be together. Sometimes I forget how hard it felt in the beginning, because now (and i hate to sound trite) it is such an amazing experience to have under my belt. It was crazy, but we gained SO much faith in Heavenly Father's plan for us, LOVE and some good healthy perspective! 

"Blammo!" is what we like to say to the naysayers from long ago...

"We are the Dikes and we are nailing it!"

team boo ♥'s you

(BTW i stole that last line from Reagan who's family is also, so i've read, "nailing it")

before and after

It is indescribable the feelings I have when a new baby of mine arrives.

basically, how can I pass so much time sitting on a couch looking at this beautiful creation??

but i assure you i CAN 

{and have been}

hours before...

and after

...just one more reason my life will never be the same!

I am in la la LOVE!!!!

{with a little MacGruber }

team boo ♥'s you

This, my friends, is why little boys rock....

Lately I have been a little grouchy.

my days becoming progressively non structured and non-inventive

with sporadic spurts of cleaning or walking the aisles of Target or something

It's my fault because somewhere in the last few weeks I began to assume that by now,

this baby would be on the flip-side of my lady bidness.

Luckily I have to rays of sunshine that remind me hourly how lucky I am to have my "everyday"

Yesterday morning Sheamus crawled into bed with me after a "bad dream"

(about a monster who wanted to tell him jokes??)

and professed his love to his stuffy nosed crab of a mother

and it turned out to be just what I needed:

Me checking the time in the early hours....

"You have a clock on your phone!?! Your're so funny momma...(whispers) and BEAUTIFUL.

I'm keeping this momma.

And I'm not gonna say i hate blue houses anymore...

(something he says when he wishes he lived at his cousins yellow house instead of our blue one)

cause you're the only one I want to hug! I love you mommy, you're so comfy.

When are we allowed to kiss your lips again??"

(since I have a major cold)

Basically this means that I can't keep griping about the stretch mark that is slowly spreading further up my belly.

I mean, I CAN...

But maybe i should just get over myself ;)

There are very few things in life that make my heart sing more than hearing a little munchkin voice call me "momma"

life is good.

team boo ♥'s you

hey guys, incase you were feeling fat or something..

....guess who is 15 pounds heavier than her 6' 3" husband and has two thumbs?

this girl.

(curse you universe.)

In MY defense...he did just get released from a nine day hospital stay.

In HIS defense....he did just get released from a nine day hospital stay.

but still.

I've switched from saddle walking to more of a "duck walk"

which isn't to say I am not rocking that duck walk.

but walking duck-ish nevertheless.

luckily he loves me just the same, maybe more :)

and...team boo ♥'s you

nesting.

{lola's room prints }

{a christmas present for Elyott}

With a roughly a month to go and 2 cm dilated... doctor says I need to "take it easy"

ha :)

All things considered, that may be tricky.

Now housework is not only bad for morale (?),

but also a crime against my uterus.

(...yet a longer pregnancy = a crime against my thighs)

unfortunately, I think uterus always trumps thighs.

I am crossing my fingers for two more weeks of pregnancy.

(as backward as that sounds with all this frigging heartburn)

between his gimp arm and his catheter arm, Adam can't lift over ten pounds.

...that makes for a lame new-baby-helper.

(wa wah wah, i know)

Wish us luck!

team boo ♥'s you

there's a she wolf in my closet.

...but mine isn't nearly as flexible as Shakira's .

Although she still breathes really heavy, does that count?

either way...it was the soundtrack to our new year's eve

my kids and i can't get enough.

(and no they will not be watching that video...geeez)

{34 weeks}

Here are our friends pretending we didn't just play scrabble for two hours and nearly forget it was almost midnight.

So what did i learn in 2009, you ask?

...a #10 can of nacho cheese and the most freaking boring game ever you really can't call a New Year's Eve party. But that doesn't mean we didn't have fun (see above) Thanks Summer for messing up your house instead of mine ;)

Ah-oooooo!

team boo ♥'s you

elephant in the room

{Banksy’s “Elephant,” 2006}

I can't hide it anymore.

I now walk like i've been in a saddle all day.

but in my defense...it feels like i got hit in the crotch with a bat.

this post is mostly cause i know how sick you are of seeing my christmas tree when my page loads. I have lost that blogging feeling lately. But maybe I'm doing you a favor by resisting to post all my heartburn and sleeping woes....and profile shots where you may or may not feel obligated to say how non-enormous you think i look, so i just look like a big douche who's fishing for compliments ;)

If i were really sassy, i'd have painted a picture of my own self camouflaged into a pink room.

...but then i would have had to change out of my sweatpants.

team boo ♥'s you

more than a food baby.

27 weeks..................................31 weeks

Sheamus: "Mom are you have three babies??" (taking into account my 2 "ball tummies")

Me: "Nope, just one little baby boy :)"

Sheamus: "Well mom....It looks like you are turning into Santa Clause"

sweet. Here's to being jolly and jiggly (but with slightly less facial hair).

Ho Ho HO.

team boo ♥'s you

don't be fooled....

...I no longer look like this.

it was a good 4 weeks ago.

I haven't gotten to taking another side shot, but from based on my (very tactful) neighbor's jaw drop when i told her I wasn't due until Feb....I'm guessing I am popping out quite a bit more.

For all of you who can't wait until February, here is a creepy baby morph that i did online (which is better than the one we did seven years ago in Vegas, where our daughter looked like a 10 year old neanderthal)...

....hmmm?

and for the sake of my half latina baby dream I'll set aside my exasperation with J.LO

("but she knows what she did"*) and bring you this next combo......

(*make any career moves outside of her Selena role.)

meh.

(then her little half J.LO soul would be partially addicted to one piece denim rompers

or playing the "Bronx" card...and that might put me over the edge.)

Have a fabulous weekend my friends...

team boo ♥'s you

How to launch yourself into pre term labor...

1. Agree to head up decorations for a church party

2. Hold said party in an enormous basketball court on a $250 dollar decor budget...(thank you appliance store dumpster) using cardboard, paint and tree branches (without putting ANY new holes in the wall)

3. Decorate party for two days straight

4. All the while bending to paint and jumping up and down a stage 67 times

5. Drink only Pepsi Max for both those days

and VOILA!

...you will find yourself in the hospital triage in no time.

So even though the party was a total success,

as was my body's ability to not dilate through two days of premature contractions, basically I learned

pregnant chicks need to have more helpers and drink more water when throwing a party.

(oops.)

All is well.

(Though I might be swearing off soda for the remainder of my pregnancy)

the Wolverine-est

How is it that before an ultrasound, one can drink 32oz of water and pee out 82?

*Sheamus wanted the baby in Mommy's tummy to be a girl because he was under the impression that if it were a boy, that boy would be another Sheamus....and he would have to start all over being a baby again. 

*Elyott wanted a girl because....well she is a girl. and girls are awesome. (va jay jay power!)

*Mommy wanted a girl because...she feared another boy could only be more crazy and inevitably less sweet than the boy she already has.  Plus...she's a girl too (and she has had a girl name burning a hole in her brain for years!)

*Daddy wanted a girl because he drinks things like this...(see below) and having a family of girls would make it seem to make more sense??

So guess what??

ITS A BOYIEE!!!

*Sheamus asked if his name would be "Sheamus".  When I said no, he needed double clarification that he is now, and would always be, the "WOLVERINE-EST" and "Logan-est" of ALL!  (but i think he has it in the bag...see above)

*Elyott cried a teensy bit...but is now excited (cause she's the best most understanding big sister of all)

*Mommy's heart melted at the thought of a baby gorilla #2, and then punched herself in the face for ever thinking that she could be less excited by another boy (but damn those boy names!)

*Daddy (who is, by nature, the worst reaction giver of all) is jazzed too, and has absolutely no shame from his drink preferences (if he were a drinker, you better believe it'd be Appletinis all night long)

...and giggling fourth graders all across the land are glad to have another boy who will carry on the Dikefest namesake!

fat bottomed girls.

{via 9000 }

As a teen I went through years of insecurity and body image craziness, and it wasn't until after i got married  to a supportive (and completely biased husband ;) that i was slapped into the reality of what my body could do: I had a baby. I know it isn't that way for everyone, but for me, something about that transition in my life completely changed my views on what it means to have a healthy body.  I like to feel good, and look good, but mostly....I just love being around. Yet the problem that lies with public outlets and me, is that I am way to tempted to use self deprication to make connections. And my self loathing thoughts on pregnancy might be my favorite subject (well...that, and inverted nipples, and pointing out my occasional lesbian sounding voice). Fabulously, I fear this has caused less of you to want to grab brunch, and more of you to want to just punch me in the face. For it has been lovingly brought to my attention that my "chubby thigh" and "acne mustache" symptoms might be the anti feministic way to celebrate this miracle....and hell, it's possible they're simply a figment of my imagination (a profession of how i feel rather than the way i look) . So I promise I won't hold it against you if you have recently thought anything along the lines of...

"For the love of Angelina and her overflowing maternal willingness, someone get this girl a muzzle!"

But before I ditch my M.O. and start reciting positive affirmations in the mirror, I'd like to profess that it's humor that gets me through these long months of suffrage. Allow me to be frank...I love myself! I looooooove my babies, I love myself an optimistic confident woman, but I do not love pregnancy....i think it was designed to keep a girl humble.  I consider it my bodily donation to take on the single most honorable venture there is in this life.  And despite the more socially responsible coping techniques that exist, the best way i can think to survive pregnancy (and sometimes just straight up motherhood) is to laugh at how ridiculous it can be. This way, instead of pretending my third trimester double chin is glorious (or worse....not there) I rest assured that since not permanent, it is simply more hilarious than tragic. But as always, thanks for keeping me in check friends!

{tie-dye.

 worst adult clothing invention ever?

or

maternity clothing amazingness?}

wanna hear a way smarter version of this?

...listen here, it is so awesome.

my wig bangs are for balance.

so here i am

 in all of my soft focus glory.

(my husband's finger always gravitates over the flash...

editing in exposure helps me be more dreamy....and visible)

I'm almost 4 months along, going on 7.

some things you can't tell from this picture are:

how my boobs are actually still quite bigger than my belly

my kids are running around like rabies infested dogs

my house is a total disaster

I am uncharacteristically ready for a date night a half hour early 

...trying to catch a moments peace in our "worthless room" 

{every house has one}

Nothing was gonna get in the way of this pregnant girl's night of tacos and creme brulee.

And now friends, I am signing off for a bit. 

Taking a little computer break to catch up on the things I've been missing out on in real life.

like talking to friends in-person, riding bikes with my loves....and having a fridge that doesn't smell like death.

Go enjoy your families!!

{sing some songs together...}

cause we've got our own boobs to look at.

A few months ago I was at the splash park with some friends where there was a lady who had her new baby in a sling. he was obviously hungry (as babies tend to unremittingly be) and much to this baby's delight...he had a vip ticket to "perma snack" which co-incided with his mommy's giant (and i mean giant) lady lumps being slung out for all to see. for the entire two hours we played! (including when the baby slept) Now maybe i was being prejudiced...because I have a very low tolerance for adults who sport pigtails (which she was)...so just to be clear that i am not one of those people who will stare you down in a restaurant if your kid so much as sneezes, I will list off a few things she might validly use in her defense:

-nursing is a wonderful natural part of life

-it's possible her chafed nips were having a cotton aversion

-it was hotttttt

-maybe she likes tan boobs (and tan babies)

-she couldn't care less what the judgmental mom groups were saying ;)

I nurse...my boobs get out of control ginormous. I nurse in public. (As a rule babies eat and have poop explosions at the most inopportune times) But I also know there is usually a way to be a little more discrete. Please ladies continue to nurse...and not only locked away in some 1950's mothers lounge, don't let any yuppy boob snob tell you any otherwise. But please, for the love of all ten year old boys wandering eyes...the wonder of your lactating miracles should stay shrouded in mystery.

and here is where i tell you how...really, this was just my very round about way of telling

nursing or soon to be nursing mothers that:

Udder Covers will work wonders for those pesky water park scenarios. One comfy strap over your piggy tailed head and voila!...you are all set to keep those puppies in check.

(oh, also resist the urge to wear pigtails)

back in the saddle.

{picture via Delighted...who is rather delightful herself}

This weekend I made three public appearances (All of which i felt way "too pregnant" to tell people i was only 3 1/2 months along).  I showered, I curled my hair to cover to monster blemishes that are now gracing my complexion, i ate, i laughed, I got the bakery guy at Whole Foods to give me a free Creme brulee (which along with orange creamsicles is my new favorite treat...a sure fire way to be much more ashamed to announce how far along i am next week) I wore makeup, I organized my pantry, the list goes on....

And despite my new rear view renaissance silhouette...it's great to be back!! (FYI: just as two wrongs don't make a right...non elastic jeans and a jersey top don't make an flattering maternity outfit for me)

I made a promise to myself that I would make some changes...inspired by Polished Pickle and Owwy's summer to do lists I am gonna do more of the following as a "back to school list" of sorts:

-begin plans for halloween costume party...if you live in AZ you are invited ;)

-finish 2 concepts on my poster art idea

-learn one three chord song on my guitar

-make a quilt 

-actually plan something special for husband (our 7th anniversary is approaching)

-make dinner for my family three nights a week (this one is haaaaaaard!)

wish me luck!

*Also...look at what you did at the voting polls this week ! To that i say...

"a BOO yah"

"someone just got SERVED a BOO sandwich"

"that's what i call getting BOO-slapped"

see what i did there?? now make a momma proud and don't make me regret coming up with those "catchy" one liners, which by losing will make sound really stupid...but otherwise are very cool ;) 

keep voting!...

broken record.

 {via little gypsy by the fallen princess project } It happened.

I knew the day would come.

it just cam sooner than i thought.

...today I told Adam a funny story about my sister

and then not even 10 minutes later, i told him the EXACT SAME story 

with absolutely no recollection!

this has happened to me once before during pregnancy, 

but i thought it was a fluke.

basically,

 pregnant chicks are CRAZY. ...like...Madonnas arm muscles, crazy

{and i am no exception} but this isn't to say my husband doesn't find me completely adorable,  cause he does. just adorable...and crazy.

you might be pregnant if....

1. you prefer rodeo stench to that of the Taco Bell drive through.

2. you go into Walmart unrepentantly wearing sunglasses, a muumuu, leggings and slippers.

3. you dry heave in the rocks outside your backdoor, and then throw up in your sink

4. you'd rather wet your bed than risk vertical induced nausea.

5. even your leggings are too tight

6. your cleavage starts to look like a chubby "coin slot"

7. chocolate sounds gross for the first time in the history of the WORLD.

8. you run into fellow bloggers on the 4th of July who publish a group picture on their blog where they look fabulous and you look like you just chugged a gallon of salt water {and no you do not get a link}

9. your kids eat saltines for lunch, with you, in your bed

10. then later you find those same neglected and unsupervised children playing games like this:

here we go folks...

{yes i'm pregnant}

*also, I got my iPhone back!!! so now I can play Word Warp shamelessly...until my soul turns black.