stuff that's jacked and some that's funny...

Call me resentful, but if i read one more blog post about the "new autumn feeling" or the "changing fall colors", or the "hot cider and cardigan-wearing-crisp-air" i am going to projectile vomit all over my laptop. The closest we have come to Autumn here in AZ is the Winnie the Pooh on (what feels like) terminal repeat and a leftover pumpkin spice candle from 2009. When we are feeling particularly desperate we hole up in the basement to watch Harry potter. It usually ends with me alone, wearing my winter cloak, curled up in a fetal position. Its a sad attempt, but we are just trying to keep up with the Jones's ;)

Something that has made me smile despite my $600 dollar air conditioning bill...
The 30 Rock premiere played the "would you rather" game. 

Have you found your "pube shirt"? (watch the last 4 minutes)

I know i have...

I've been getting a kick out of the content inspired ads that Google comes up with in my side bar:

baby face generators
funny dirty joke finder?? (what-ev)

reading babies!?

actually baby face generators are kinda hilare.

last week i mixed Fred Armisen with an otter for Robin,

what did i expect?? 
A cute little fuzzy nerd, that's what. 
It was a no go...way to freaky mutant to post.

team Boo ♥'s you

this is me NOT blowing myself to the moon...

Instead of explaining the blackening of my soul that has been my last few days, I am going to pretend like my kids aren't currently pounding on my bedroom door taunting "you wanna piece of me!?" for no good reason...and instead *inject some sunny memories into my ice heart.

(plus then if my kids are reading this somewhere down the line they can remember the times mommy wasn't scary or threatening to tape their faces shut)

...as luck would have it, a few days prior to the few days that have turned my heart to stone, the kids and i decided to "embrace" the sun rather than resent it.  At 113 degrees the embracing was short lived, but we had fun experimenting with its ridiculously unrelenting rays.

*insert happiness here...

FYI: they just picked the lock.
aaaand i'm back.

team boo ♥'s you

(and my kids...usually)

now all we need is a couch in our front yard...

Who doesn't like white trash creative summer fun??

here's one of our best so far...

some scrap wood + plastic lining + some stray pavers + a hose = water slide...

Adam also constructed a 30 foot slip n' slide down our driveway with cardboard, egg crate foam and the same plastic sheeting.

I slid down twice.
my abs were sore the next day.

today it is 116 degrees
we will not be playing outside ;)

team boo ♥'s you

raw sugar.

Today i mopped my floor {for the first time in about three months} and my iPhone came in the mail....the sky is the limit! So this weekend, since we have no plans to go on holiday, i plan to challenge myself to make it fun at home kicking off my inspired summer plans to  botox all of my sweat glands  er...enjoy as much of it as i can with my two darling children ;)  here's what i have in mind....

{project image found at cookie's nesting blog }

1. a do it yourself dollhouse...where the kids are in charge.  This is where mommy is challenged to NOT micromanage the project to make it look more like the picture ;)

2. a living room fort camp out with shadow puppets and hot cocoa

...and some camp songs for good measure {cause were not quite ready for scary stories}

{image from listentofeist.com }

What do you have planned?? 

....wait don't tell me.....no, DO.  Just kidding this isn't a competition, and your plans can suck it. 


okay fine, they're awesome....but they better not involve the beach.

summer days...

I have spent so much time lately complaining about the AZ heat, i've in some ways given up on the possibility of enjoying myself at all in the next six months. I have central AC, a basement, a house for heavens sake! Also as i recall, roughly 7 years ago i signed on for a job that does anything but revolve around my personal pity party ;)  

It wasn't until i read this wonderful blog that i had a moment of clarity. When did i morph into such a resentful wank? The heat waves really do a number on my disposition as a mother...but aren't i supposed to be teaching my kids {by example} to make the best of what they have?!? When did i forget that life isn't about living in ideal circumstances, but rather how we fair with what we are given. Frankly i should be ashamed to think that i have a reason to complain. Anyway if you need dose of perspective like i clearly did, read {my newest mommy inspiration} Megan Marie's sweet snippet of ways to enhance the summer months...

{which for me is basically making a long list of whimsical ideas to distract myself from the fact that my kids are not in school anymore and the only way to keep from punching myself in the face is to trick them into lots of sweaty and/or indoor fun. but then there i go again....}

 "I am a tour guide. Each day my babies hear language they don't really understand, and witness events and objects that are completely foreign. Everything is new. In the past I have taught them colors, introduced them to letters and numbers. Taken them outside to name the bugs, the sky, the trees. Why though? So they can recite the names of things back to me? Ever so much more than that! I get to teach them to live!"

A few favorites from her summer "tour" list:

*have a yellow day where we wear only yellow, and eat only yellow food

*make a sand castle and then stomp on it

*roast a hot-dog over a fire

*put on a puppet show

*have a major dance party...with decorations 

*eat a really messy dinner with no utensils

*build a catapult and shoot things

*shadow puppets late at night

*make a gift for a friend and doorbell ditch

*rent a projector and make our own drive in

*go on a treasure hunt

*make bird-masks and wings with feathers and pretend to fly

*record our voices and play them back and laugh at how silly we sound

*have a mud fight

...find the rest here .


Needless to say, i am starting my own list. What do YOU have planned??


FYI...this doesn't change a thing about wanting to move. The second a window opens I'M OUT!!.... just saying ;)

sum sum summa summa....

So here we are...knock knock knocking on Satan's door {well what feels like Hell's door anyway} and i find myself for like the 10th year in a row, since i've lived in the Valley of the Sun, dreaming of busting a move out of this insufferable state. Its seasonal depression inducing, only instead of clouds, its blaring-oven-like sunshine. I have friends who LOOove it {and we all forget just how hot it gets} but basically, come June, you can't go outside without your face melting off, and sweating profusely out of every pore. Allow me to be frank when i say, its no fun when your crotch starts to publicly draw attention to itself.

I dream of Portland!...or the surrounding areas anyway. The trees, the hydrangeas, the farmer's markets. My Grandma lived in way Northern Cali....I remember being little and wondering why she'd apologize if the "weather was dreadful" when we came. I loved it! still do.  I hear it all the time "you think you like rain, but it is SO.  MUCH.  RAIN." Which leads me to wonder if i'm only hemorrhaging from the grass is {quite literally} greener syndrome.  But the way i see it, I have paid my AZ dues, if nothing else, i'm ready for a change...and a new thing to complain about ;)

Have you lived in the NorthWest? do you just like sharing your two cents? tell me what you think...

poll by twiigs.com

*my saving grace...

.

I am notorious for having this 52 oz. ice cold "baby" attached to my side (6 months of the year). It is quite honestly like a baby in that i even find myself inadvertently swaying side to side or gently bouncing my knees while i'm holding it.  Old habits :)

chew on this

Just because summer is almost over, doesn't mean I can't still look hot. No, not that kind of "hot"...the sweaty-faced-jeans-are-sticking-to-my-legs kind of hot.

today's lows:

-having nothing but donuts and sugar in my stomach since last thursday (when life got even crazier than usual).

-having the air conditioning in my house stop working.

-trying to clean up my explosion of a house after the fundraiser in a stuffy 89 degrees. 

-the 11 loads of laundry (not exaggerating) waiting to be folded heaped on my bed.

...yet its redeeming qualities:

-Elyott came home from school with DRY pants.


-Adam is making dinner without being asked (wait, what?)


-I am officially done cleaning up the garage sale stuff (thank you MISTI!) YEE HAW!!!!