dirty little secret

You know all those posts going around where people post the quirky contents of their purse...They'll have a pack of life savers, some cherry lip balm, a cell phone and something super random but still cute like a plastic farm animal, all displayed neatly on a vintage piece of fabric? Well last night i realized my (very small) purse was looking more like a rodent's nest than a place i put my keys and wallet and an occasional spare diaper. This is what mine looked like last night freshly dumped....

I'm like a trash Macgyver! Only...i don't know how to make anything useful out of paper except those four square origami things (that look like beaks) that entertain kids during church. And i don't have my own hit television series, or an awesome fishing vest...or a mullet. Also i don't know how to diffuse bombs. Maybe i'm nothing like Macgyver, just a trash toting slob (opposite of Macgyver?)

What does your purse say about you? Mine says i could probably take back every item i've purchased within the last six months with ease...and I live like a hobo.

team Boo ♥'s you

Conway Twitty sees the light

I like to use the classic "three strikes you're out" policy when it comes to mass email forwarding...

-The first time, assuming the "10 ways to recycle old pantyhose" was merely a knee jerk reaction to watching Inconvenient Truth amidst a dry spell in their Netficks queue, they get the benefit of the doubt. 

-The second one you cock your head to the side, erase without opening, and go back to eating your cereal hoping that they just forgot they had already used their "freebie". 

-The third is like the sick feeling you get when your friend starts a sentence with "believe me I totally get how annoying those multilevel marketing people are, but there's this opportunity..."

And that's the deal breaker my friends.

Unless, of course, you are my mother-in-law. 

...In which case no matter how many home remedies, kittens doing the "darndest things", and musical friendship video clips she sends your way...she is exempt from getting 86ed off the ole contact list. Plus she's sweet. and also she birthed and raised the love of your life...so she could probably shave the magical healing locks of Sonny's hair and i'd have to love her anyway.

Yesterday i received a gem that cannot go unshared (to ensure you are picking up what I'm puttin' down). In sweet pure hearted Jeanine fashion, the disclaimer at the top read "This is truly beautiful! Turn the volume up..."

And before you go thinking what an unbelievable douche i am for mocking a Jesus montage, please know: i did what i was told and turned the volume up...and therefore couldn't help but notice the awesome cowboy giving his two cents in the background. Ready set go...

....

Do i have the blackest heart of all time?...or are you laughing too? I love Jesus. I do! But here at team Boo nothing is safe from a good laugh, not even my own children. Oh who am i kidding...especially not my own children! And much to Sheamus's sweet five year old dismay, some things he's said recently are just too cute NOT to laugh...

 "Mom...How will i ever get big if i don't like gross food?"

 "Elyott, if i were a binky...would you suck on me?"

 "Elyott are you sure you want to go to the gym?...cause you might have to poop at the gym."

Recap: Jesus. Sheamus. Two of the purest people i can think of. Still funny when you add twangy one liners, or (legit) warnings about pooping in public.

team Boo ♥'s you

**Attention team boo enthusiasts**
re-blog this post and tell me about it right here! Through a series of featured posts (this being the third) over the next couple weeks you will have a chance to win a very exclusive (but still very secret) custom team boo gift! No it wasn't be made by me...pshew!! but it is adorable!

what's in an age?

I peed my pants well into my 20's. As a kid, my sisters would hold me down and make me laugh until i peed (it didn't take much). Once, when i was pregnant with Elyott, I had to change my pants 7 times during one particularly hilarious game night. SEVEN times. I was 19. I thought it's what every little giggly girl did, until I grew up and very few of my friends could relate to my pants wetting confession. It isn't my most proud feature, but there it is (for the record i haven't in like 5 years ;)

My daughter Elyott can relate to this. like 100%. 


And it is ultra disgusting when i go to check if her clothes are clean or dirty and i (without fail) take WAY too big of a whiff (when just a little sniff would've sufficed)...and then my face melts off. And then i think, "uhhh! when is she gonna grow out of this!?" and then the little cricket that lives in my clock reminds me of my first sentence of this blog post (damn.) 

Then sometimes I stress about Elyott seeming "so big" already at the ripe age old age of 8. Like how most of her conversations have a varied but certain degree of precociousness (i'm sure every mother kinds feels this way about their kid) but more specifically lacking that awesome preschool aged janky vocabulary set. Most of the time she is usually pretty spot on when she is figuring something out, and I start to long for the days when she said and did really awesome and ridiculous things like: pulled her halter top shirts down below her nipples cause she thought it looked "fancy" or sang the lyrics "popcorn popping on the 'rake-a-dot' tree!" (instead of "apricot") or when she was a baby and we'd say "i love you" and she'd say a very efficient "too"...OR when she laid her clothes out for school to look like this.

At what point are we "matured"? Does it happen over night? Is it a certain age? What qualifies as being grown up? Does it even matter? 

A few nights ago, while talking with Elyott in her bed (this is the time of day when my kids often get very big picture-y and sentimental, sometimes to the point of weepiness ...Sheamus: "when i go to college will you come with me?" or the classic "mom I don't want you to get white hair cause then you'll die!") She asked me this adorable question:

Elyott: "Mom, if God loves us so much and wants us to be safe, then why did he create Lions?"

Me being the over explainer that i am, gave her some very logical answer (plus, for as long as i can remember, those are the only ones she will accept anyway. Sometimes we call her "logical Mcgee"...clever, i know.) But inside, i melted at the adorable youth she still maintains, cause seriously that is the cutest question for such a thoughtful little girl.

Those who know us could observe that in some ways she might be more mature than me...or if nothing else my equal ("if peeing your pants is cool, consider us miles davis") But the innocence and sweet intent of her heart is pure...just like a kid's should be. And that is something I hope I always strive to "regress" to. Screw growing up! Let's all be little!!

(but maybe minus the peeing your pants part ;)

 A very happy belated birthday post to you my sweet girl! You are just the right age for me :) (also...what kind of a jerk mom tells the world that you pee your pants? this one.)

team Boo ♥'s you

stuck in the moment.

two unprovoked moments:

(sheamus is his hat over hood "justin Beaver suit")

It seems these days (in our home) that unless a topic of conversation starts with a J and ends with an "ustin Bieber" it doesn't hold up. I have done my best to spare you the posts about the loooong (10 minute) car rides with the ipod on Biebs repeat...or the tiny place in my heart that he has branded his initials with his stupid tiny heart shaped pitch fork. It's not that things haven't been eventful, I just haven't made the time to carve recent memories into stone (the internet counts as "stone" right?...I had a Taiwanese neighbor named Stone a few years ago, and he was legit as the chicken neck bones that floated in the soup his wife often made for us, bless her heart). 

Okay so there may be other reasons for the blogging silence. Getting back to the gym regularly (twice counts?) Reading books that don't have pictures. A clingy teething baby (that still will not put even one ounce of food to his own mouth so that i have to hand feed every morsel into his 5th percentile bones) Not to mention Adam being back in full time school (stealing my laptop on a regular basis)...it reminds me of one of my favorite Jack handy quotes: 

"To me, it's always a good idea to always carry two sacks of something when you walk around. That way, if anybody says, 'Hey, can you give me a hand?' you can say, 'Sorry, got these sacks.'" 

In other words, when people ask me when i'm gonna blog again, i just shrug my shoulders and say "sorry....got these sacks." Thats when it gets really awkward. Trust me, when i say Jack Handy quotes don't translate well in a literal sense. Still, it's more effective than trying to explain to a group of my very dubious and very non 12 year old friends that the Never Say Never movie was "actually really endearing"

So now you see that this period of silence was really a favor to your brains. I will probably lose 10 followers because of this lame post (those cold hearted snakes with their high reading standards and their "better things to do"). And if you are looking for a reason to blame this potential downward spiral of mine (ie. i actually ate a reheated baggie of Sonny's scrambled eggs today...for dinner!) i am quite confident it can be traced back to that sneaky pouty faced angel we all know...and sing along to. Curse you Justin "Beaver"! Somehow i want to see more you and then none of you. forever.

team Boo ♥'s you

can leprechauns also be for lovers?

{via Oh Hello}

guess who was putting the final touches on her valentine video last night, but had to restart her computer for the bajillionth time, and who's project is now no where to be found?!? 

(hint: she is now sitting on the moon)

actually I didn't even get mad...but im guessing it's was just due to pure denial that all those hours of neglecting my family could now have been in vain?!? What a terrible way for the universe to repay my usual lacking effort of valentine thoughtfulness for my lover. Sorry for the video pump fake. I'm sure when I get it posted just in time for St patrick's day or something. Lame.

Off to the apple store! giggity.

team Boo ♥'s you

Ain't no sunshine

Wasn't that a dirty trick I played in my last post giving u the least amount of info of my sick baby (too tired) AND the most dramatic info (the air vac) in one??

Before I go any further, here's a pic of me and my tuchus ("to-cuss") on a brighter day (cause no one wants to see a baby all hospitalized and stuff).

So let me break it down, but in a short Lamans terms blog kind of way because you are all so sweet to send love his way, but we are not 85 so we don't need a play by play of every medication and doctor visit of all time.

Since sonny was so sick I was keeping a hawk eye on his sweet little self. As time passed he grew increasingly dehydrated and then basically began (and kept on) making quick desperate gasps for air (think freaky mutant human breathing on that Will Smith movie) he also was nearly impossible to wake up. Turns out this boy had a very severe viral lower respiratory infection (and now also a bit of pneumonia) which was slowly clogging each airway with mucous (more or less) Helicopter took him from one ER to children's hospital because, unlike adults who slowly get worse...our babies' amazing little bodies basically run a marathon against those nasty germs and then out of nowhere, BAM. Stop breathing.

No air for Sonny = cardiac arrest = I jump off the nearest cliff.

Yadi Yadi yadda...baby hooked up to breathing machine, lots of other wires...and here we are in PICU (or "pick u" if your cool like that...like me) until those stupid medicine resistant viral bugs go away...but freaking hallelujah for hospitals , right!?

But it was almost this exact date last year that Adam was hospitalized for 9 days...So why not keep that totally FUN torch alive!?

For now, my Sonny is still very sick, but in much more capable hands than my own. And don't even get me started on how thankful i am for miracle machines, and prayer, and smart people, and people who give service, and America, and cute babies with curly hair and shark eyes, and family, and God, and all of you...and helicopters!!!

I'll keep u posted :)

p.s. A "tuchus" apparently means "butt" in Yiddish. I did not know this (until just now when I looked it up) but frequently have the urge to call him one (?)

p.p.s. Thank u for all your fantastic support! (Renee, thanks for making me laugh, as usual. And even all u shy ones who came out of the woodworks to wish my sonny well :)

turkish delight.

sonny & uncle cheese

This is me resisting the urge to post the classic picture of a giant plate of Thanksgiving food (you better believe i took one) You also won't find any pictures of me preparing any food (cause i didn't) If you are thinking you might see a picture of me blowing out a candle or two, think again (for this marks the 28th year my birthday was overshadowed by driving and packing :) But if you are dying to hear a good throw up story, then i am your blog, cause I've got tons (since my family has the gag reflexes of champions, or rather non-champions).

We seriously have someone throw up at every holiday. Like this year on Halloween, I reminded my kids all night not to eat too much candy or else they would get a tummy ache. When we got home...Adam threw up (from eating too much candy). And let us not forget this time.


So this Thanksgiving when cousin Ashlyn burped at the table, Elyott was so grossed out, she heaved every last morsel she had just eaten back onto her plate (such a considerate thrower-upper) When cousin Ashlyn saw this, she went to the bathroom to toss her own cookies (this is also a girl who one time barfed at her own fart smell). I don't make this stuff up guys, luckily it doesn't even phase me any more. 

team Boo ♥'s you

cry baby?

Sonny has been really sad and snotty. Now that he's 9 1/2 months he finally decided he'd like a tooth razor to slice my very important areas. This is a series of pictures where he is actually crying, but since he has such a happy reputation to uphold, appears to be smiling. Which I think is pretty messed up and adorable at the same time. Don't be fooled though, this kid is very sneaky. He crawled off the bed twice this week AND almost face planted down the stairs. I think i was busy playing Mario Brothers on DS with Sheamus or something...

;)

team Boo ♥'s you

when funny trumps sanitary

We are taking care of my parents dog for a little while.

Now, I'm not really an animal person, but it's been ideal because he's pretty mellow and already fully trained. Which is good cause dogs that chew up poopy diapers and stuff really make me want to abuse things. Typically i keep Sonny and doggie pretty separate cause I don't really trust dogs (also dogs lick their privates and my baby is clean and i kiss his face with my own mouth) but you know me, I can't resist a genuine defenseless babies moment...

worth it.
I'm pretty sure i would have fully thrown up.

Don't fret, i sprayed Sonny down with the hose afterward ;)

team Boo ♥'s you

ask boo: holy crap this the longest post known to man!

{via windsor for the derby}

When did you realize you needed to take anxiety medicine? I took anti-depressants a couple of years ago, but sometimes i get panic attacks, or really overwhelmed. How long have you been on them?

Good question. I've actually been meaning to get to this subject for some time now, but it's just so much more fun to talk about funny stuff than heavy stuff :)

So: after my first baby, I was down. Like a big fat downer. I didn't really know it at the time. I recovered, but never fully. Then I had another baby, I felt euphoric, and then a few months later: crash. Again not really putting two and two together. A couple years went by with me fading in and out of these feelings, all the while I lacked the coping skills to prevent a slowly compounding issue. Finally, over 4 years, I found myself in the midst of a foggy depression with a death grip on the light in my heart, but this time I couldn't get out. I began to doubt my core beliefs....everyone was annoying and self righteous. For me it wasn't about feeling sad but rather: irritable, insecure, severely unfocused, intolerant, impatient, defeated, reclusive, anxious about everything under the sun, unmotivated, overwhelmed, libido shot, guilt ridden, dissatisfied, inconsolable, self loathing, and a downright bummer to live with. I was truly Zombie-riffic.

Now before you write me off as the crabbiest most extreme case of all time that you can't relate to, know that I didn't necessarily feel all these things all the time or all at once, but they were a prominent theme in many of my days. I didn't want to be perceived as dramatic or needy, so almost none of my friends or family knew i was hiding this secret....i must have been a good faker ;) But behind closed doors, I'd have major breakdowns about once a week (at the peak of it), and I fantasized about being put into a coma to skip the "hard" parts of my life. I wanted to run through the wall, leaving a Carolyn shaped hole, and keep running...only i had no where to go, and no desires to be anywhere for that matter. Strangely, i couldn't even put my finger on what or why i felt this way. Sure, times were stressful financially (but whats new? plenty of people enjoy life with much less) I wanted to be a mother (always have) my husband was adoring and supportive (still is), so what the "H" was my deal?? My husband was confused and didn't know how to help. I didn't know how to help myself...
{click "TELL ME MORE " below to read the full article}

stuff that's jacked and some that's funny...

Call me resentful, but if i read one more blog post about the "new autumn feeling" or the "changing fall colors", or the "hot cider and cardigan-wearing-crisp-air" i am going to projectile vomit all over my laptop. The closest we have come to Autumn here in AZ is the Winnie the Pooh on (what feels like) terminal repeat and a leftover pumpkin spice candle from 2009. When we are feeling particularly desperate we hole up in the basement to watch Harry potter. It usually ends with me alone, wearing my winter cloak, curled up in a fetal position. Its a sad attempt, but we are just trying to keep up with the Jones's ;)

Something that has made me smile despite my $600 dollar air conditioning bill...
The 30 Rock premiere played the "would you rather" game. 

Have you found your "pube shirt"? (watch the last 4 minutes)

I know i have...

I've been getting a kick out of the content inspired ads that Google comes up with in my side bar:

baby face generators
funny dirty joke finder?? (what-ev)

reading babies!?

actually baby face generators are kinda hilare.

last week i mixed Fred Armisen with an otter for Robin,

what did i expect?? 
A cute little fuzzy nerd, that's what. 
It was a no go...way to freaky mutant to post.

team Boo ♥'s you

Gold Guns Girls.

*For the weekend, I will alleviate my blog of defenseless babies posts...and just post a picture of my...regular baby?? That's all i got folks :/ This is just in case some of you are getting tired of the same old thing: BABIES (let me guess...next you are going to try and tell me that puppies aren't cute? what kind of robots are you!?)

Hows about a little weekly high low?

-I found my calling in LIFE!! (besiiiides birthing and nurturing my children. no, it's not sewing) I can't tell you about it yet though. You know, just in case i flake out and find a new "calling" ;)

-My sisters and i took my mom out for a birthday dinner. Upon arrival, I accidentally shanked an up front parking spot from another car. I tried to back out, but the guy just blocked me in and stared me down like a crazy. A few minutes later i saw him walking with his family..."I'm sorry sir. I was trying to back out for you...i really didn't see you there" (I was genuinely sorry).  He just dogged me and tried to prove how dumb and rude i was since his wife was pregnant. BUT! what he failed to notice was:

a.) I was also in a car and obviously walking with an 8 months pregnant sister  

b.) i was carrying a new-ish baby in a carrier (have you ever carried one of those suckers? with the awkwardness factor, they might as well weigh like 400 lbs.)

and 

c.) my mom has no stomach! (to be fair, dude didn't know that last one, but i also didn't know his wife was pregnant cause...doiee, i don't have x-ray vision.) 

Why do people have to be so ugly? Its not even Christmas time yet!! ;)

-The planning has begun for church holiday parties 2010. My brain wheels are turning and i am excitedly tap dancing in my head. However, come October 29th, my feet will be trying to commit foot suicide.

-I went thrift store shopping with Elyott. I found SO much cute stuff for her! Red boots, green dress, classy witch shoes. Then i stumbled upon 3 amazing pairs of boots for me (like high quality awesome vintage) It was like the heavens rays were shining down and an awesome southern baptist choir was clapping and singing right there, in Savers. And then the record player screeched (and my fall wardrobe dreams dashed) when I went to put my stupid OGRE feet inside and they were ONE size too small. ALL three!! one. frigging. size. too. small. I out loud sang the sentence "whyyyy are my feet so stink-ing ginormoussss" Elyott got embarrassed. I seriously contemplated cutting my big toe off but, luckily for Elyott, we were in a big hurry.

keep those defenseless baby pictures coming!

team boo ♥'s you

girl you know its true.

 (sheamus pouting cause his teeth are real...and white)

this week:

...was chalk full of dental work. Elyott had 8 cavities. EIGHT! One that ended up with a silver crown. I told her it was fancy. Sheamus came home from school in a good mood until he saw Elyott's "golden tooth" and was completely jealous. It probably didn't help that i told him to go look at the buried treasure she had in her mouth. It's okay though, we've devised a plan of fruit snacks before bed each night that will put him well on his way to a full grill by 1st grade. 


Then I went and got a couple fills into two holes i'd aquired from gritting my teeth at night (another reason i am adorable when i sleep). Adam told me when i got home that he "could tell my face was swollen". Only it wasn't, cause all they did was put some composite in the tops. Thanks though. That may or may not have driven me into the warm embrace of like three ice cream sandwiches.

I know I have (even recently) subscribed to the word "amazeballs." However, and you can call me a word snob, it is officially 86'ed out of my life and you wanna know why? Because I heard Juliana Rancic say it on E news last week, and i threw up a little in my throat. You know the girl that stands next to Ryan Secrest and weighs like 56 pounds (and is "trying SO hard to gain 5 pounds so she can get pregnant" but is full of crap cause i know the real reason she hasn't and it's cause she's made of wax. And wax people can't birth children cause...they are wax. but maybe, that's also why she hasn't been able to gain weight?? aww, now i feel bad. Sorry Juliana.) That's why.


*tomorrow i will be choosing a winner for the pillow giveaway cause...

 ooh ooh ooooh Boo ♥'s you
(remember? cause the title was a Milli Vanilli reference...keep up guys)

*also don't feel dumb if you have used this word here before...you didn't know better ;) I'm just simply trying to make the world a better place...one word at a time.

so when you feel like hope is gone, look inside you and be strong.

wanna hear something 75% hillarious, but 100% pathetic?

...today after i posted about my glorious teamBoo pillow giveaway. you know the one. the one that isn't perfect but is free and awesome? the one where all you have to do is comment that you are already a teamBoo follower (cause i have eyeballs and i know you're there) and you are in the running? 

i'll tell you what happened....i LOST two followers.

I realize the heart is a little big and the talking part looks a wee bit like a clam foot, but seriously are you guys allergic to free stuff? Are you afraid that since i always tell you how scummy i am, there will be boogers on it or something?? Do you not like LOVE?!? this is about encouraging me to keep sewing guys. sheesh ;)

Then Sheamus pooped in the bath. you know, the kind that breaks into a bajillion pieces but that are still too big to go down the drain. Adam played the "sensitive gag reflex" card (said in a dopey voice that he'd claim he sounds nothing like), and i cleaned it up solo.

BUT its cool cause then Elyott (who BTW came home from school today in a thrifted full unicorn costume that my sister surprised her with during carpool...amazing) reminded me that, amongst all her very precocious verbal skills, she still refers to the Falcon (her school mascot) as a "Phallic-on"

...that always makes me giggle. i'm basically a ten year old boy inside.

team boo ♥'s you

i got soul but i'm not a soldier.

how i cherish the one on one time i get while nursing this kid. We gaze into eachothers' eyes, i give his curly hair a twirl in my finger, he flips my bottom lip repeatedly with his tiny fingers. I call him my baby bird, his sweet little lips curl into a coy smile...and then...
he craps. 

...the loudest, wettest GOAT smelling diaper I can imagine. I start to panic that it is leaking all over my lap (like the time in Outback with Elyott), I quickly unsnap his onesie and call for reinforcements: a paper towel, burp rag ANYTHING to put under him. One of my kids come running to help (bless their little potty trained hearts) I place the barrier between his bum and my only pair of pants that fit me right now ("what will i wear tomorrow, and the next day, and the next day??") then both Sonny and I breathe a sigh of relief. He eats a little more and finishes off with a jaw clamp and back arch with my poor nip in tow. 

Ah precious moments.

team boo ♥'s you


(*side note: next morning he totally duked me all over my running shorts two milliseconds before i left to the gym. That'll teach me to blob about narrow poop escapes.)

the 90's called...and it wants its groove back.

Today, being the first day of the new school year, I walked around aimlessly from room to room checking different clocks to ensure i didn't lose track of when to pick my kids up. By 3 o'clock I realized that not only did I get nothing substantial accomplished, but I wore a *mickey mouse t-shirt. ALL DAY. To me this is less about fashion a faux-pa and more just a crime against my basic life principles (and I DO mean all disrespect to any other "character" clothing on adults). I practically won't even let my kids wear a mickey mouse t-shirt (unless were IN Disneyland) Which brings me to a few burning questions for myself:

-first of all, why do i even own a mickey mouse shirt!?

-second, why is it on my body?

-and third, why haven't i set it on fire yet????

My misguided sense of myself these days, I fear, is making even those around me sad. I need to re-group...find my rhythm, and get a hold of myself...or I may run straight into the embrace of an argyle sweater vest and make nothing but hamburger helper for dinner. No wonder I've been in such a bad mood :/

*(Not to mention i both picked up and dropped both kids at their schools wearing this)

team boo ♥'s you (and other bloggers like Renee because she always knows just how to say it...and then make me feel all better :)

happy trails.

{This is us passing what was quite possibly the stinkiest highway on the planet}

Some things we've discovered on our trip: -Adam and I have super opposite tastes in music. Well actually we already knew this quite well. But for reconfirmation, I listened to his euro top 40 from 2007 about 27 times before I played one run through of Vampire weekend. Our conversaysh went something like this: (Adam) "are we almost done listening to the crappiest music of all time" ...(me) "yes we finished about 45 minutes ago"...(Adam) "no this. it's like that lame song Chevy Chase dances to" ...He meant Paul Simon. I meant to slap him in the mouth. He's lucky he was driving. -we are the SLOWEST travelers. We can take any 12 hour car ride and turn it into an 18 hour car ride. I mostly blame Adam as he takes twice as long as any woman to leave anywhere. In his defense, im pretty sure he just started his period. It works for us though, we are chillaxers by nature, so we still manage to love eachother the whole way. -my kids lose respect for me once the engine is on. Once when they were messing around and kicking the radio controls in the back. After 17 warnings to shut their faces, I reach to smack at their feet. They start hysterically laughing at me, and I can't help but laugh at my spazzy Joan Crawford moment. -Adam likes to rub it in when he poops 14+ inch dukes, even after I haven't gone in like 4 days. I tell him that's a cruel and equally weird thing to brag about. He stands by his accomplishment. -my kids are definitely retarded at plugging their noses (see above) -road trips turn us all into filthy animals We are on the road yet again (Disneyland here we come) the baby is screaming and we are pulling over for the bajillionth time for me to nurse him... ...we are in road trip heaven :) happy trails friends.

team boo ♥'s you

picture this.

I thought for mothers day, the sisters could pool our offspring together for a cousins picture to give to the grandmas. With several identical experiences under my belt, i've decided from now on, it should be mandatory to also have someone to stand by and film a panoramic view all photo sessions, as they are so ridiculous it's retarded. 

Funny yes, but mostly stressful and frustrating for the parent.

What must our kids be thinking??
Its possible they are feeling a little scared...defiant....but probably mostly embarrased for us as we stand behind the camera clapping, jumping, yelling, indian chanting, rap video dancing. Any regard to our surroundings dissipate as we stoop lower and lower in an effort to get all the children looking in the same direction at the same time.

It is always clear who is really running the show, and it is never the crazy lady with no makeup, spitting her tongue and repetitively whooping names and noises all in the name of....memories(?)

Yet, all we ever have to show for what felt like a mini nervous breakdown, is a nanosecond in time where the stars aligned, and the kids seem to appear to be sweethearts ;)


basically kids are turds. and we are the crazy people who love and look after them unconditionaly.

kids 1, parents 0

team boo ♥'s you

somewhere between Footloose and Sex In the City...

i actually kinda like this dress....

but you know something isn't right when you can't decide if a girl looks good for her age

...or instead looks too alien for her age??

I'm just sayin'....tight hairdos + "bo-face"(botox) = confusion

team boo ♥'s you ...aaaand loves SJP (but just maybe lay off the eyeliner...oh, also eat a sandwich)

to sleep or to shower?

{4 am monday morning}

{3 am tuesday morning}

There is no bigger sucker than a new mommy.

[3 hour middle of the night lactation benders, crotch rehab, etc]

I choose to survive it by watching "16 and pregnant" before I go to bed.

works wonders for ones perspective.

to sleep or to shower? 

or neither.

...anything, as long as this kid is happy ;)

team boo ♥'s you