Mexico is the new black.

We back. And right up front...my apologies to our friends who were subject to my embarrassingly too small bathing suits all week. ...all week where I horizontally sipped mango smoothies, and ate poolside nachos...tucked away on a private beach with not one pregnant dog or drug lord in sight. who knew? thanks for your prayers ;)

(more pictures to come...)

presenting...our vacay soundtrack:

-Jay z (forever young remix) about 73 times in a row the 4 hours there and back (thanks to husband liking the repeat button as much as the children do.)

 -The resorts mexican dance song of the year at least thrice daily "follow tha leada, leada, leada...follow tha leada, woot woot!"

-and Sheamus's rendition of Bon Jovi's "Shot Through the Heart" as follows...."shock to da heart and you're too lame, God give it alooooone a BAND-AID"

By now we are pool side in Mexico.

Don't be scared.

(or do.)

we'll be back soon ;)

date with the night.

What do you do when you arrive at the Build a Bear birthday party a day early?

...you hit up the MAC make up counter, and slather your 6 year old in lipstick shades fit for a hooker, of course.

(*also, I am the worst picture-kiss-facer ever)

the Wolverine-est

How is it that before an ultrasound, one can drink 32oz of water and pee out 82?

*Sheamus wanted the baby in Mommy's tummy to be a girl because he was under the impression that if it were a boy, that boy would be another Sheamus....and he would have to start all over being a baby again. 

*Elyott wanted a girl because....well she is a girl. and girls are awesome. (va jay jay power!)

*Mommy wanted a girl because...she feared another boy could only be more crazy and inevitably less sweet than the boy she already has.  Plus...she's a girl too (and she has had a girl name burning a hole in her brain for years!)

*Daddy wanted a girl because he drinks things like this...(see below) and having a family of girls would make it seem to make more sense??

So guess what??

ITS A BOYIEE!!!

*Sheamus asked if his name would be "Sheamus".  When I said no, he needed double clarification that he is now, and would always be, the "WOLVERINE-EST" and "Logan-est" of ALL!  (but i think he has it in the bag...see above)

*Elyott cried a teensy bit...but is now excited (cause she's the best most understanding big sister of all)

*Mommy's heart melted at the thought of a baby gorilla #2, and then punched herself in the face for ever thinking that she could be less excited by another boy (but damn those boy names!)

*Daddy (who is, by nature, the worst reaction giver of all) is jazzed too, and has absolutely no shame from his drink preferences (if he were a drinker, you better believe it'd be Appletinis all night long)

...and giggling fourth graders all across the land are glad to have another boy who will carry on the Dikefest namesake!

homies, lovers and friends

Even though you always use my toothbrush, cause you forget mine is the green one, and that you happened to have a green toothbrush like 2 years ago (again, french kissing and wiping your tooth scum onto mine are not the same thing)...

...even though you listen to the lamest music, like 2001 style R kelly, so much that our preschooler makes regular requests for the "freakin' weekend song"

...even though you'll willingly let your softball leg wounds ooze into our sheets

...I love you through and through

♥ Happy anniversary lover.

(*and just as two wrongs don't make a right, 

I realize some random drawing and a silly backhanded post don't make a suitable anniversary gift

...but that's how we roll ;)

(p.s. the wedding photo above is basically opposite day of what we looked like at our wedding. I don't even think Adam could have grown a mustache yet....think pregnant teenagers ;) 

fat bottomed girls.

{via 9000 }

As a teen I went through years of insecurity and body image craziness, and it wasn't until after i got married  to a supportive (and completely biased husband ;) that i was slapped into the reality of what my body could do: I had a baby. I know it isn't that way for everyone, but for me, something about that transition in my life completely changed my views on what it means to have a healthy body.  I like to feel good, and look good, but mostly....I just love being around. Yet the problem that lies with public outlets and me, is that I am way to tempted to use self deprication to make connections. And my self loathing thoughts on pregnancy might be my favorite subject (well...that, and inverted nipples, and pointing out my occasional lesbian sounding voice). Fabulously, I fear this has caused less of you to want to grab brunch, and more of you to want to just punch me in the face. For it has been lovingly brought to my attention that my "chubby thigh" and "acne mustache" symptoms might be the anti feministic way to celebrate this miracle....and hell, it's possible they're simply a figment of my imagination (a profession of how i feel rather than the way i look) . So I promise I won't hold it against you if you have recently thought anything along the lines of...

"For the love of Angelina and her overflowing maternal willingness, someone get this girl a muzzle!"

But before I ditch my M.O. and start reciting positive affirmations in the mirror, I'd like to profess that it's humor that gets me through these long months of suffrage. Allow me to be frank...I love myself! I looooooove my babies, I love myself an optimistic confident woman, but I do not love pregnancy....i think it was designed to keep a girl humble.  I consider it my bodily donation to take on the single most honorable venture there is in this life.  And despite the more socially responsible coping techniques that exist, the best way i can think to survive pregnancy (and sometimes just straight up motherhood) is to laugh at how ridiculous it can be. This way, instead of pretending my third trimester double chin is glorious (or worse....not there) I rest assured that since not permanent, it is simply more hilarious than tragic. But as always, thanks for keeping me in check friends!

{tie-dye.

 worst adult clothing invention ever?

or

maternity clothing amazingness?}

wanna hear a way smarter version of this?

...listen here, it is so awesome.

I have been naughty....

Longest hiatus ever!  Even my friends have begun to ask me what the heck was up.  I think it has been playing tricks on me too. I can no longer rely on my online rants to preface a story, I actually have to keep track of who I have told, which for me is like keeping track of how many times I've opened the refrigerator in the last month (after I've forgotten what i walked in the kitchen to do)....for i might be the queen of re-telling worthless information.

And I couldn't be prouder of all my stalwart readers who have stuck by my side! You guys are champs....really ;) I just hope I haven't built this all up too much, cause now i feel all cobwebby and out of sorts. Like a baby deer learning to walk. It may take me a minute to gain some momentum, but in the meantime may i tell you a few tidbits:

-mystery gendered baby and I are both growing whole heartedly (thanks for the well wishing and concerned emails)

-October is maybe my favorite time ever

-My "baby" is 4 today! ...not my fetus baby, rather my baby whose head rests on a well formed neck instead of directly on its shoulders (Quasimodo?).

-today I'm "back" ...and tomorrow NIE is on Oprah!! (I am so Farrah to her Michael ;)  I SO can't wait to watch!

Hooray for comebacks!!!!!