my better half.

Last week i mopped half of my floor.


...this draws upon a most prominant theme in my life: freaking balance {or lack thereof}. The thing is I am a "half doer".  BUT, I always eventually finish...I just halfway alternate between like 15 things at once.  As I type I notice the half removal of my chipping nailpolish.  I seriously only took it off the one hand {which makes me think of how amazing it was that it was actually on both hands in the first place, since i usually only paint the left side, what a lame-o}


I have been known to inadvertently coat only one of my eyes with mascara. Right now i find myself with makeup on, but no bra?!? I'm such a centaur (you know those horse/human things, but minus all the body hair and hooves cause, gross.) half of me is a multitasking genius, the other half is, i don't know...hanging with unicorns er... shooting a bow and arrow??


Summer, {who has heard this time and again} you are always good for psychoanalyzing my "quirks"...so what is up with me?? {aside from a little more mood stabilizers and a little less caffeine} I was apparently only HALF listening when you told me the first time.


With or without a solution, thankfully my usually willing and always my loving husband is a "finisher". He "completes me" {vomit, i know}. Swooping in on so many of my misguided projects.  Now if he'd only get me ready in the mornings....{sigh}

**also: 2009 is not agreeing with me blogging.

Is it just me guys...

...or are my pants getting smaller? My brain is saying "no one knows those pants you just grew out of were already your thanksgiving pants" but my love handles are salivating at the thought of gas station nachos.

In the span of one week I popped not one, but 2 buttons off pants while I was wearing them! Not to mention my favorite jeans that did this:

:(

Is this some sick joke? Have i sold my soul to the devil in exchange for a few pans of seven layer bars?? Caught between two marathon training downtime...A few overly ambitious stints at the junk cupboard, and i am ready to star in that new subway commercial .

Alas, this week i am giving away those delusional-when-i-bought-them-but-were-$10-at-Anthropologie-so-i-had-to-buy-them-even-if-they-would-only-fit-for-a-week-even-if-i-starved-myself-for-five-pants....and will go buy the denial free jeans that fit me now, and rock them anyway.  Cause i do like my shape, and this is my attempt to prove it to the world without flashing my left cheek or flattening car tires with my rogue buttons ;)

p.s. my girl turned 6!! check back for a soon for the account of her celebration and more!

p.p.s. bogging vacations are great for getting crap done. I maybe just took a really long one ;) 

boo learned...

....how to grid my pictures.*

here are some of the things on my mind:

*{Deb, just go here}

In case you haven't heard...

Nie's back! 

{...and sweet as ever}

ticket to rad.

psst...We have a secret weapon.

 ...of how to have fun*

(without being drunk ;) 

**feel free to take notes, just jot it down next to "how to love someone who hasn't washed there hair in 5 days" {me} and "wear less layers than everyone around to ensure you're not the 'sweaty' friend" {again, me}

Meet our friends.

They may seem proper. Or even reserved.

They are not.

Ticket to Ride + drunk on...shameless friendship {??} = fun with salley O'malley, or just a way gayer david lee roth.

{i once peed my pants seven times in one game night with them...i was pregnant, but FREAKIN' STILL, right?}

Thanks for the guacamole and the acrobatics. Until next time.  Bert, bring your game face...i'll bring the extra pants.

story toppers

Just incase you missed this on Saturday...Kristin Wigg turns me silly, and heres why:

....for more K.WIgg amazingness click here, here or here .

**I would kill to spend even 5 minutes with Liza Minelli's crazy.

I am in a blogging rut and i can't get out...

Elyott is saving up for a new house...

...and what a better way than a lemonade stand...in the middle of winter.  Granted we live in a typically sweaty crotch state, but nothing makes a customer want ice cold lemonade more than a five year old serving it with a snow hat and "glubs". 

True, 50 cents was a little pricey for such tiny cups {that she may or may not have dropped in a puddle during set-up} but she was giving out free caramels! 

Business started a little slow...

but in the end she earned $4! 

One down, 149 thousand lemonade stands to go before we can buy the house she wants ;)

this is what happens...

...when you send your husband to get "snacks" last minute for your last minute New Years Eve party.  The stuff in the orange bowl came in one bag!...i called it the "Britney Spears Special" {a.k.a. all of your trashiest cravings in one}

But what we lack in catering skills, we make up for in amazing friends...

improper behavior....{also a little trashy}

...and sassy lipstick 

{wait i guess that can be rather trashy too. whatev.}

xoxo

♥Happy New Year♥

knives don't have your back.

 If 2009 sucks...i got backup.

In the meantime, here a few things i plan to work on...
(but i always start in the less abrupt...February :)


-get out of bed by 8:30am at the latest {my poor kids}
-make dinner at least twice a week {my poor family}
-run one more marathon {seattle?} before baby making #3
-put on a bra by at least noon every day.

-not ever watch a single second of a reality show with retard names like "Brody".

-remember to charge, not lose and carry my cell phone ;) {buuuut first i have to find it..heh}

**Also you will never again hear me resolve to remember Birthdays...i've tried...i've failed...i'll suck at it forever.