The final "Don't be a drag just be a queen"

Last week I watched my niece and nephew (5 mo. and 2 yrs) along with my three kids. It was just after i got the two year old off the counter, right about the time the 5 month old was screaming his face off (as Elyott made him a bottle and i changed his bum) i turned to find the 2 year old flipping dirt out from my (only surviving) potted cactus...with diarrhea spilling out her diaper...holding a knife! I couldn't help but laugh at how ridiculous the threshold of looking after little ones can be. It happens to the best of us. Just when you think a moment with children is totally out of control, without fail, the universe will play the diaper explosion or emergency room card (or both). NOT awesome.

But then, when all is calm, the clouds part and the angels are singing. And you did it! You have poop on your foot...but you're ALIVE! and so are the children!!

So now is where you ask: "Why the crap would i sign up for something so insane that i'd give my right arm for one moment of reprieve?...I'll keep my awesome life I have now, thank you very much!"
But here's the kicker: Truly the things in life we work the hardest for are always what we value most...and to me, being a mom is the most tiring thing i will ever endure! Good and bad, nothing feels more divinely intended as motherhood does (even if it feels like a sick joke at times). It rocks your world, it gives life richness, it scares you, it cracks you up (sometimes cause it's funny and other times cause it's nuts), it satisfies way down to your bones, it scrambles your brain, it makes a mockery of your hygienic standards, it fills your heart like nothing else can, it is the best gift i can ever imagine.

also by a couple months in you'll probably get used to all the poop and throw up ;)

Throughout my 8 years of motherhood I have discovered both the best and the worst facets of "myself." I, like most of us, fall somewhere in the middle of two extremes: "the mom who lives to be one" and the "ones who should be manditorally sterilized". However trite, it does go by fast...but I take comfort in the fact that somehow I feel like I've had my kids forever (like my arm or my eyeballs) They are the part of me that I will forever (no matter what) be unabashedly proud of, unconditionally invested in and totally in love with. 

Often times we hit rough patches. We all do. Sometimes those "patches" feel more like never ending roads that frigging suck, and that motherhood is to blame. Please remember: depression/anxiety does not discriminate. You just happen to be a mom. Life in general gets more complex and more difficult to manage the deeper we climb into adulthood. If you aren't digging being a mom at this hugely transitional point in your life, big deal. If i've said it once I've said it a million times: kids are turds. But they can be lovely and endearing company too (like funny/innocent adults...with way shorter arms. who don't wipe very good.)

And please for the love of emotional eaters all over the world, let's all stop comparing ourselves to this mothering standard! With our negative inner dialogue, she often rears her ugly (but really stylish and smiley) head as we scour the blog world. It is a self imposed and complete fictional character. You have strengths that will carve out your own mothering niche. First be totally honest with yourself, then cut yourself a little more slack! Motherhood has so many variables, so there really is no magic formula that will ever prepare you for it. Making goals gives you direction, but clear your mind of expectation. Just like the rest of life, it rarely goes as planned.

I have had so much fun in this Project Boo: Don't be a Drag, Just be a Queen series. It is overwhelming to think of how many of you out there that i truly admire for your positive mothering energy, and could have written something equally as inspiring as Renee, Abby, Stacie, Cara or Kelly. SO MANY! This series literally could go on forever! (but then i fear most of you would eventually want to scratch your patronized eyes out) Thanks to these awesome blog friends of mine for being my internet "trophy wives," if you will. As for the rest of you...I'll hit you up for my next "Project Boo" ;)

In conclusion: Be a mom! or don't. At least let a mother in your life know how much you appreciate their efforts. It's the small things we accept as payment. And if you're a mom now (or even if you're not) just in case no one has told you yet rock ;)

team Boo 's you
(and thanks Kelli for your sweet invitation to share my thoughts with your friends)


MaryPosa said...

This was a fantastic little series!

prettybaby said...

you said a lot of great stuff. but that picture of you pulling that face made me laugh. i'm still laughing. i just refuse to write those three or four letters that everyone does cuz i'm so original.


Brissa said...

Last night I had a dream and I'm pretty sure you and your kids were in it. For some reason you, Elyott and Sheamus came to my house to give me something. (I guess we're like bff's in my dreams...) Elyott wanted to keep dancing with my disco ball and Sheamus wouldn't let go of me. It was so random. Then we were all walking down the road to your house because that was the only way we could get the kids to leave my house and you guys had to get back for an appointment or something.
There are two morals to this story.
1. I must be a bigger stalker than I thought.
2. Watching "Nanny Diaries" and painting your nails before bed is not a good idea.

The End.

kate said...

perfect ending to this project. i've loved every post.

Broadobalds said...

This was great. Thank you for articulating things so well.

kate said...

i just came back and re-read the posts... (my job is borrrrring) i want to be a mom. how would you feel about sending sonny to idaho?

MamaEm said...

I love you. Your humorous spin on the little horrors of motherhood is so, so, so true. Thank you for the laughs :)

Rachel said...

I loved this series! Makes me so excited and inspired to become a mom (hopefully soon!) I'm new to the blog world and and obsessed with it all :)

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