Queen #4: Cara
Cara is many things. Hilarious, thoughtful, passionate, smart, brave, caring, stylish and creative (to name a few). The thing that always blows my mothering mind is that she does it all as a single mom (seriously, if you have kids...stop to let this sink in. Now repeat after me "we're not worthy...we're not worthy!") If you hadn't heard, single parents are superstars...and she is nailing it (even if she disagrees). She knows the value in truly looking for the positivity around her, and that is what makes her one of the raddest chicks i know, and the most NON-drag queen so far! We can all learn a lot from this girl...love her with me:
"top 10 things i wish someone would have told me upon entering single motherdom:
10. laugh often. watch whatever comedy you can and surround yourself with funny people. in the middle of your child's screaming fit, try to just laugh. this will save you. also, don't underestimate the power of taking a black sharpee to your child's face and drawing a mustache during their meltdowns.
9. know the bus system (if you can't afford a car, or even if you can) memorize the schedules and stop ids. also, know the public transit phone numbers. and be nice to your bus drivers. they remember you and will stop for you when you're running like an idiot to catch the bus.
8. do something where you just sit still for 15 minutes. every day. pray. meditate. do the dishes. read. paint. learn to listen to your breath. if you can master this in 15 minute increments, it will be easier to muster in more chaotic times.
7. children's television programming is your friend. i swore against it early on. and now it's the only way i can get laundry done or a shower in.
6. dating sucks. plan on not doing it all that well for a long while. or at all. your baby is way better anyways.
5. organize. give everything a home. anything to make life less chaotic.
4. plan ahead. as much as possible. and pack accordingly. plan for explosive diapers, hungry children, stranded self, the apocalypse, etc.
3. SNACKS. healthy snacks for you and for child. available all the time. no one gets crankier than a hungry me.
2. take care of yourself. do things for you. on top of eating right, getting exercise, actually getting ready for the day. find ways to sneak in as many quick little happy treats as possible. dine out, hike, travel, LIVE YOUR LIFE.
1. check your pride. accept any kind of help. and thank the heck out of them. (lucky for me, i have a pretty amazing support system)
-offer rides. or your vehicle. though the bus system is awesome here, it can be stressful to take my babe on the bus, especially in the rain...during her nap time.
-babysit. even for an hour. running errands solo is. awe. some. i've had some surprises of people really invested in my child and it means the world. my ex's mother takes the cub overnight nearly every saturday night. this is probably the most amazing gift ever. i can go out or stay in by myself and definitely sleep in. so refueling.
-give her a job. any job. i promise you she needs the money, especially if she isn't getting child support. or marry her.
-gifts. hand me down clothes. money. giftcards. food. meals. a good album or book. a planned event. an adult conversation. cheap rent/a place to live. movie night. big item loans (bike, furniture, etc). hugs. encouraging words. a cup of coffee. your company. silence. an ear. understanding. these are all awesome and thankful for me, i get most of them from my housemates."
team Boo ♥'s you
(and single mothers across the land!)