(un) Funny Girl

*(not funny)


Soooooo....What the "H" boo?
What happened to blogging through your school fog? liar.


That's me.
A fatty fat fatty overshooting liar.
Actually i wasn't lying, cause i still have plans, and the intent is pure.
 but i'm gathering momentum and skillz.
(momentum and skillz? sounds cryptic...and a lot like another lie.)


The good thing about school? more frequent (socially pressured) showering. 
The bad? There is no time for anything else (that doesn't have a pulse and live in my house).

It's hard to learn serious crap and make "awesome jokes". Unless it's at someone else's expense, which i don't like to do publically (like the adorable old lady-teenage-apple doll in my class who at her ripe old apple doll age never fails to be age-inappropriately dressed. Complete with half up half down long hair and jean mini skirts) I don't really feel like I can bust out joke-less posts around here any more. I set the tone and now i am married to it. (Wow, I think i just broke my horn's tooting chain. yay metaphors!) It's just that I'm feeling a bit comically retarded at the moment (please no one email me about cavalierly using the word "retarded").

Okay so scratch that, i'm not saying i am so awesome and funny. Let's instead say weird, humorously awkward?...okay, idiotic (said in boring voice). Unfortunately these clssasic "d-list knee slappers" (?) have been violently displaced from my brain by the square roots of standard deviations and polyatomic ions . I'll give you 10 dollars if you can make a joke out of that. And you can't say "your face is a standard deviation" cause i already tried that.

(it works every time, and also never).


...you could tell me some of your funny stories/funny things you've seen on the web (minus animal videos. I exhausted that avenue last week).

team Boo ♥'s you

animals being dicks.

Even though 1 dollar fish tacos at Rubio's is a great reason to look forward to Tuesdays...It's still possible you need this today.


team Boo ♥'s you

deep in my heart...the thunder rolls

"who disturbs my cookie tiiime" -random quote by sheamus/elyott/man/boy

(i thought kids only did this in movies??)

Tonight we had a classic AZ thunderstorm. The kind where the thunder never stops rolling (and that Garth Brooks song won't stop replaying in your mind). I stood outside trying to catch a lightning photo for my class, and I stand before you this day vowing never to make fun of a cheesy lightning picture again. Those suckers are so very sneaky. I barely got one (a crappy one), and I basically took 4 thousand pictures. Maybe I'm missing something? maybe it's really easy to do, and the minute i figure it out, I can switch back to being unimpressed with lightning photos (we all know lightning photos are a gateway drug to wearing wolf shirts).

Speaking of being dramatic, I don't know why I can't bring myself to officially divulge what I'm studying in school (a few of you have asked). Probably cause it's boring to blog about. I suppose you'll just hear snippets here and there about my education (SUSPENSE!) Also cause its awkward when I start telling a friend something in person and then I can see it in their eyes:

A. they are feigning a first time reaction 
("that is Brand New information")
and
B. it's cause they read it on my blog

Like that frigging blazer post. I feel like I can't wear it without feeling so contrived. So if you see me in a blazer this fall let's just have a code word* so we can have a mutual understanding that I know you read about it, and you know I know you are gonna pretend you don't know, but by saying the code word we can just move on and talk about much more interesting things...like my school schedule ;) That, or just don't look me in the eyes. 

*Lately, I keep wanting to save time and make code words with people (Adam) and they never take me seriously. Let's do this! code word: "BLAZING SADDLES" (i guess that's two code words)


I'm in a weird mood. 


must be the electricity in the air.


team Boo ♥'s you

WWUJD? (what would Uncle Jessie Do?)

 

Right now i'm in one of those ruts where i'll do just about anything besides finish my chemistry lab (due today). So i've cleaned the kitchen, played all my words with friends moves, gone through the DVR to record all the Mickey Mouse Clubhouses for Sonny. Eaten three more homemade bacon and cheese biscuits than i should have, read a few blogs and now here i am...blogging about it. 

Yesterday i implemented a few of my new strategic blog moves and had my kids help me with some other homework (above). That homework turned out pretty cute if you ask me. It was actually really fun and i only used my serious photo directing voice like twice. 

Then to be fair i helped elyott with her homework (instead of just plopping her at a table and threatening her with homeschool, complete with homemade prairie dresses) I was on hand for questions and support, while i simultaneously and uncharacteristically made fresh biscuits (same as above) wearing my homemade prairie dress (of course). 

Homework got finished, the bonds of love were strengthened...It was like the end of a Full house episode about family teamwork (complete with the canned "awwwwws" that ends in a freeze-framed three way high five) 

Now if i could just find a way to make my chemistry homework not the soul sucking lamest. If only i had two random uncles that lived with me to help me solve my problems...

team Boo ♥'s you

opportunist

today Sonny took matters into his own hands, and fed himself a nectarine Mr. Peepers style while I wasn't looking.

But he had so much fun in his bath...

...he snuck in a round two.

 

He guarded those things like a ferrel cat. I think he even pulled a baby switch blade when i tried to open the peel.
Sure. 
He'll devour two disgusting bananas...but gags when he touches a toy koosh ball??


so much for the banana bread i was planning ;)


team Boo ♥'s you

always something there to remind me.

My life (especially these days) is filled with baby steps. Baby steps to the kids bedrooms to convince them to wake up even though i want to curse the morning along with them. Baby steps to the gym when my brain knows i have no time in the day to be there. Baby steps through the bazillions of chapters i am supposed to be reading...baby steps to mothering three kids (which recently has been reduced to "being in the same vicinity of them in case there is a fire and they need to be swiftly evacuated" and an occasional PB&J sandwich) If i think of it as a whole my walls start to close in and i impulsively organize my junk drawer which solves nothing (and everything?) but as a tiny unit i can slam em down one by one before it all melts my face off. 

(Wah wah,right? this is where you roll your eyes at the trite everyday complains of a working or student/parent.) Blah blah blah, my point is: blogging is the most logical time sucker to eliminate...or is it?

Today during Sonny's nap time i had four choices. Do laundry (a major baby stepping effort), reconnect in blog world (a world that will chew you up and spit you out if your not careful) shower (ha!) or study (never ending). I chose laundry (Snoooring) OH! but then i also chose blogging, yay! (brown noser)....man you're a tough crowd. This is me reaching out from my dark hole...reaching for my creative-ish expression, reaching for my last grip on remembering that my life is funny and reasons why (so reachy all of the sudden). That is my main reason for blogging, by the way. To look for stories in my days. To give the blob of hours relevance, turn the annoying things my kids do and make see them as eghem "cute", and all around keeping my perspective light. When i don't blog all of the sudden my kids stop saying funny things, things around stop being ridiculous, wildlife stops prancing across my front lawn*. Then there are gaps in my (seemingly mindless) story. Gaps are no good (unless they are in your two front teeth in which case i love them). 


And then what is the point of improving my life though education if i am numbing the life i have to get there? (you have to be all "deep" and stuff when you're in college, you know).

If blogging must serve as the red string around my finger then so be it. Come mid October i will have loads more time on my hands (and learning chemistry will be 86ed from my life forever! though i will still have 15 credit hours of school :/ ) For now I am devising a new master plan to weave my studies into mothering (with the exception of chemistry) and (like always) mothering into blogging (something along the lines of making it a part of my homework assignments for my art classes??) "Impossible!" shout the tiny naysayers that live on my shoulders.

Can it be done? (probably not, but...) with baby steps i can try. A girl can always try.

(*Funny Farm reference: where they are trying to move away from crazy town so they stage all these wonderful things in order to sell their house (deer running outside while showing the house) but eventually with this new perspective on what that little town is capable of they fall in love with it again. Something like that anyway...its been a while.)

team Boo ♥'s you