Tu Vuò Fa' L'Americano

Ciao i miei amici! We are in Italy. Florence (Tuscany) to be exact. Made famous by many things: Botticelli's Venus, birthplace of Leonardo Da Vinci, El Duomo, extra virgin olive oil, Michelangelo's Statue of David and now apparently lots of souvenirs with poor Davey's  genitals. Leave it up to the 21 century to be a total 6th grader about such a respectable piece of art. So let me know if you'd like a pornographic apron or some totally awkward boxer shorts...mmm-k.

Then there is the food. OH the food! Any calories i saved passing on the paella in Spain, i've made up for by eating my weight in thin crust pizza, gelato and croissants dipped in nutella. Without the constant walking i would be doomed!

Then there is the obligatory Pisa shot where you hold it up like you are gonna fix it to be cute and silly, and even if you don't want to conform you know just standing in front of it the picture is too dumb so you do it anyway. And then you do one where you hold it up with your tounge ...and then your head just so you feel a little more original (you're still not) and then you get squeezed out of the way by a group of old Asian ladies.

All the vendors here want your attention too (of course) But instead of gimmicks they rely on romantic flattery. "Ciao Bella" they'll say. But then when you don't buy their 15 euro mini camera tripod you are not only not beautiful but you should also go "eff yourself". Very short relationships these Italians ;)

(my little brother won best "italian plank"

He actually walked up the wall like that!)

Really though, a lot of Italians are pleasant, emotional, but pleasant. And to be fair, the tourists here are like rats. I even saw one walk obliviously right out in front of a local guy riding his bike which cause him to flip forward onto the street. poor guy. dumb tourist. 

So far hasn't been uncommon to see local strangers arguing on the street (big exaggerated arms included) and then so many others kissing cheeks and holding hands with their old mothers. Many speak very good english...and also pop their collars (I don't think its as douchy here as it is in the US)

Basically Italy is exactly as you imagine it would be. Everything is picturesque! Boyfriends ride their girlfriends sidesaddle on the cross bar of their bicycles, sounds of old men playing accordians in the streets, young men arm in arm chanting Italian "fight songs" holding their team flag on their way to a Calcho Historico (a hybrid game of ultimate fighting and soccer. yikes) held in the city center. Plus today I saw a MIME! It doesn't get more cliche than that. Except maybe in France...we'll see.

p.s. my orange boots have turned out to be the only shoes i packed that my feet aren't vehemently rejecting so please excuse the fact that i wear them and a fanny pack (it's SO practical!) in every picture.

team Boo ♥'s you

¡viva madrid!

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trail blazer

I'm on holiday for two weeks without my kids. and without my lover.


There were too many last minute details to absorb their yummy smells into memory before i left. I hate that. Also i didn't want to be to dramatic, cause I didn't want to upstage my 8 year old daughter. I asked Sonny like a million times why he couldn't just fit into my pocket and come with me, but he just kept watching his "toons" and was all "(yawn) i am bored with this" when i was nuzzling into his neck (he secretly loved it, he just likes to play hard to get).


so where in the world is Carolyn (SanDiego)?


If all goes well i will be posting while i'm gone. But if not (i can't find wi fi) then you'll just have to wait and see...wahhh


But i found a Blazer! (with all your much appreciated help) Then Elyott directed this mini fashion show before i left. Don't i look just like Kristen Wiig....'s chubbier sidekick?


You'll likely be seeing more of blazey in my trip pictures...which by the way is sponsored by my parents. This will quash any rumors that i am full of crap when i talk about my starving student life. Okay so i'm a little full of crap when i say "starving" student. Clearly not starving (or pregnant, i swear ;) Plenty of lady lumps on reserve.


I'll be back before you can say "have a bitchin' summer"

one sweet day.

After one's initial baby shower, all other subsequent ones are really just a reason for friends to get together with the mother-to-be before she is forced back into lactating hybernation (...or crotch rehab. or sleepless stay-cation. or hormonal prison...whatever you fancy). So last weekend when my sister Lisa was having her "last-girl-time-for-a-long-time-lunch-time" for her 4th baby we, as wise old seasoned mothers, decided it would be at a restaurant. without games. and without our previously fully celebrated kids. 

Elyott, being in between the kid age and pre-teen years, was crushed.

So, a couple hours before we had to leave, my mah-dre (pronounced with no accent) and i decided to take her to the nail salon for some cliche 80's movie montage girl time (cue the Cyndi Lauper on your walkman). 

Elyott and i waited forever! Do i have a weak chin? Was it the blue collar callouses on my hands? Like dogs and fear, i swear those nail techs knew that I had like seven dollars in my bank account...but those seven dollars were gonna pay for them to paint my daughter's chewed off nails in whatever hooker nail color she wanted gosh darnit! ("i said here's your one chance fancy don't let me dowwwwn") Instead of complaining, and to keep Elyott from playing with the freaky wax display hands, I decided to make a little "mommy daughter time" of my own. 

So just for funsies i jacked the cut off plastic tips from my moms acrylics (who by no coincidence does not have a students budget and got in right away. hmmm.) snuck some super glue and applied them shamelessly to elyott's fingernails. We painted them sparkly purple and spent the rest of the time taking pictures of her two finger eye frame posing and pretending to scratch the air with her two inch claws. If they were gonna ignore us then the least they could do was be cool with me using their scraps to play "jersey shore" with my 8 year old. They kinda were. But I'm pretty sure they were talking smack in another language at that really low decibel that only other nail techs and earth worms can detect. 

The best part of it all was when the owner guy came over to see if i was "still waiting for my polish" (code for "i can see you using my supplies you free loader") and then sat down at a nearby station to open some drawers and shut them like he was looking for something, I totally heard him softly singing along to the Mariah Carey they had playing in the background (the only american music that truly deserves all the gold and grandeur of a nail salon). To break the ice I playfully let him know that i totally just busted him singing along. He might have liked me a littIe more after that. Or maybe just the opposite? either one. 

After that Elyott forgot all about wanting to go to the baby shower and instead was excited to go show everyone her new nails that would completely retard her abilities for the next 45 minutes until she would desperately tear them off. And i was able to go to the baby shower kid free!

Oh and also i figured out why people can tell I am a teensie low budge.

team Boo ♥'s you

my mourning jacket

First, If you haven't been to see Kristen Wiig's Bridesmaids you need to stop reading...punch yourself in the face, and then get yourself to a theater. It is seriously one of the most endearing and brilliant comedies i've seen in a while. If you live in AZ and you have no friends (probably cause you still haven't seen this movie) hit me up and i will personally drag you there myself. 


Second, i need to get me a cropped blazer and fast. Its ubiquitous style proves to be the best thing to chicks with no money since sliced bread. If you've seen this movie you know what i mean. She wears one with nearly every outfit and kills it every time. Let me tell you how totally fun its been to find one that is less than $100 bucks now that its 100+ degrees (I am scrambling to build a compact wardrobe for an upcoming secret trip...more on that later).


Theory has one for $400...bite me. Jcrew has one on SALE for $188 sooooo...that's out. Gap has one for $100...a little warmer but still no go. H&M apparently used to have them...damn you! And DI only had ones that needed to be drastically altered to not make me look like a cast member from Full House, and i don't have those skills or time. The search continues....dun dun dunnn.

leaky pipes

this is the countdown. My $100 giveaway (hosted by BlogHer) is coming to a close. And all of you who have already entered want me to SHUT-UP about reminding everyone else about entering before its too late. But I can't stop, you see the picture above? Contrary to your first impression, I'm not actually playing with Sonny. In reality i am laughing maniacally at the newfound power i have through this giveaway...I just happen to be holding Sonny. I don't benefit at all for getting more people to enter...it just saves me from feeling like an idiot when only two people play along. So here i am reminding you again like a drip of water on your forehead. 


drip drip.


P.S. Holy disconnect from blog land! There are only like 5 of you who still actually read my posts. Have i told you that ADD is my middle name? Literally. (ok not literally, but "figuratively" just doesn't drive it home) Its actually Suzanne. Which also does not support my case. But let me tell you that the internet and ADD is not a pretty combination. Anyway i know i've mentioned it, but here you go again. Maybe it's the ADD talking?! No? that's not a symptom of ADD? ok then, i am just a hopeless story repeater, and giveaway reminder. FACE.

team Boo ♥'s you

movin' on up.

The other day when i told Sheamus i wanted to "wrap him like a present and gobble him up" he looked at me with one part horror, one part disgust and two parts complete confusion, and it donned on me....he is totally ready for Kindergarten.


Recently Sheamus's preschool teacher (who is fantastic in every way) made a very sweet public comment about mine and Adam's parenting style. Since I know it's not polite to deflect such a compliment, Adam and I just laughed to ourselves at what a good job Sheamus has done making people think his total sweetness has anything to do with us. If he were my first child it would be easy to dupe myself into thinking I was doing everything right (teaching manners, empathy, and good nature). A beacon of patience and wisdom if you will. But in reality, I am just feeling lucky i haven't corrupted him with my tarnished soul.

It has been invaluable having him primarily home with me for the last 5 1/2 years. I'm grateful for his late birthday so i could keep him one year longer (hands rubbing greedily together). But now its time for him to move on from the kung fu grip of this adoring mother. If for nothing else than to escape the possibility of this creepshow life. 

Love you face.

team Boo ♥'s you