how to NOT make cookies...

Ahhh summertime wednesday night television.  I have NEVER watched Celebrity circus (with good reason), yet tonight was fortunate enough to catch the final minutes of the finale. As i sit in my living room (in reluctant anticipation) with my brother-in-law, I was forced to break the ice: (silence)..........."Is that seriously Antonio Sabato's DONG!?"  (aaaand to the left?!!!)

And the celebrity circus trophy goes to.... whodda guessed it? Antonio Sabato Jr.!!! Coincidence?...i think not.  What a cheap shot though when you are up against a woman and midget! A little...."below the waist" if you know what i mean (har har).  Well played Antionio.....well played.

Anyway, i got busted for not taking the cookies out of the oven (like i promised Adam if he put the kids to bed), and boy did those suckers buuurn.  He said he didn't "accept" my excuse of being "trapped in pants paradise" (or hell, whichever way you wanna slice it) as to why i didn't hear the buzzer or smell the overwhelming burn smell. But way deep down, I think he understands ;)

team boo ♥'s you

Bob Loblaw

Discretion is has never really been my "thing".  And therefore, in an effort to spare you yet another barf-o-riffic red white and blue themed post, i will give you just a few sweet, and sometimes inappropriate, highlights of our trip to Pismo Beach last week.  What am i proud of? (you ask). We'll if you insist...

1. The plentiful convenience food we whole heartedly consume....

...as i watched my kids eat their weight in cheetos on the drive there.

...also me pounding an entire package of about 15 chips ahoy cookies, dispite its contents tasting exactly like envelope glue.

2. Freedom of speech...

-my family's very candid conversations about"after-birth" 

-most importantly, my mom's casual inquiry as to the size of my brother-in-law's junk.

-me: "hey sweetie did you have an accident?" elyott: "well... just a tiny bit." (Riiiiiight.)

3. Rummikub and Flight of the Conchords marathon week, and my delirious step dad's near laughing heart attack during episode 4...(poor grandpa needs a nappy).

4. The anthem of our weekend...

-Elyott's repeat requests of Enrique Iglesias "Ping Pong Song" (yes it is as awesome as it sounds) adding "this is how daddy feels about you mom." Awwwww...wait, what?

-both kids robot dancing to freezepops "bike thief": they really know how to make a mamma proud.

5.   That good ole' American spirit...

-the crazies yelling at us for sitting on grass in front of "their hotel room territory" to watch the fireworks.  The most annoying part: their matching Old Navy american flag t-shirts.  

-10 minutes later some fast talking chola ready to throw down with another group of fireworks spectators.  Ironically screaming "I am a good F*%$#*@ mom you piece of bleeping beep," with her 2 year old on her hip (picture the classic pointed "attitude finger" all up and down). Happy 4th of july fellow Americans!

On the way up to Hearst castle

(rare photos of Sheamus without his blasted "bink")