M.I.A (gunshots included)

Hey guess what, I'm alive!

Did you wonder why i abandoned you?

Were you worried that I got in a terrible accident?

Were you cold and afraid?

Or should i get over myself and just write a stupid post already?

but first you want to hear something ironic?

whenever i shut my face (my blog face)...i gain readers.

what does that tell me?

nothing. 

it's completely confusing. and i should be insulted.

I won't though cause it takes a lot to offend me. 
seriously. I think it's because i just give the universe so much ammo to use against me.

For instance...I am sitting at the table, in my trusty cutoff ACDC shirt, with one engorged boob, and Honey I Shrunk the Kids playing in the background...at 11:00am...on a Thursday. (insider tip that makes this even more pathetic: last night when i was sleeping and my milk started to leak, i changed out of said ACDC shirt so i wouldn't get milk rings on it, then put it back on in the morning)

ANYway. I am in mexico.

pretending like the internet doesn't work (it totally does)

eating delicious mangoes with chili flakes

letting my kids risk getting lice to have their hair braided on the beach

and reapplying sunscreen like its nobody's business.

(i am terrified of the sun...and the ocean. Wait, why am i here?)

Oh ya, cause im not in AZ

and that's the only reason i need.

...and the reason i haven't been posting.

sorry charlies. Arriba!

team Boo ♥'s you

(p.s. my kids hate when i call them "charlies")