always something there to remind me.

My life (especially these days) is filled with baby steps. Baby steps to the kids bedrooms to convince them to wake up even though i want to curse the morning along with them. Baby steps to the gym when my brain knows i have no time in the day to be there. Baby steps through the bazillions of chapters i am supposed to be reading...baby steps to mothering three kids (which recently has been reduced to "being in the same vicinity of them in case there is a fire and they need to be swiftly evacuated" and an occasional PB&J sandwich) If i think of it as a whole my walls start to close in and i impulsively organize my junk drawer which solves nothing (and everything?) but as a tiny unit i can slam em down one by one before it all melts my face off. 

(Wah wah,right? this is where you roll your eyes at the trite everyday complains of a working or student/parent.) Blah blah blah, my point is: blogging is the most logical time sucker to eliminate...or is it?

Today during Sonny's nap time i had four choices. Do laundry (a major baby stepping effort), reconnect in blog world (a world that will chew you up and spit you out if your not careful) shower (ha!) or study (never ending). I chose laundry (Snoooring) OH! but then i also chose blogging, yay! (brown noser)....man you're a tough crowd. This is me reaching out from my dark hole...reaching for my creative-ish expression, reaching for my last grip on remembering that my life is funny and reasons why (so reachy all of the sudden). That is my main reason for blogging, by the way. To look for stories in my days. To give the blob of hours relevance, turn the annoying things my kids do and make see them as eghem "cute", and all around keeping my perspective light. When i don't blog all of the sudden my kids stop saying funny things, things around stop being ridiculous, wildlife stops prancing across my front lawn*. Then there are gaps in my (seemingly mindless) story. Gaps are no good (unless they are in your two front teeth in which case i love them). 


And then what is the point of improving my life though education if i am numbing the life i have to get there? (you have to be all "deep" and stuff when you're in college, you know).

If blogging must serve as the red string around my finger then so be it. Come mid October i will have loads more time on my hands (and learning chemistry will be 86ed from my life forever! though i will still have 15 credit hours of school :/ ) For now I am devising a new master plan to weave my studies into mothering (with the exception of chemistry) and (like always) mothering into blogging (something along the lines of making it a part of my homework assignments for my art classes??) "Impossible!" shout the tiny naysayers that live on my shoulders.

Can it be done? (probably not, but...) with baby steps i can try. A girl can always try.

(*Funny Farm reference: where they are trying to move away from crazy town so they stage all these wonderful things in order to sell their house (deer running outside while showing the house) but eventually with this new perspective on what that little town is capable of they fall in love with it again. Something like that anyway...its been a while.)

team Boo ♥'s you