Sweet Lauren, over in the pregnancy section of Babble, recently walked me down memory lane (my lane is really short)...(wavy dream clouds)...I remember my little meatball all sweet and compliant...how edible he made every shot and how hard it was to choose my favorite...how fun it was coming up with scenes that word played with his name. And mostly how sweaty i got puling it all together. (giant sigh) good times.
…thanks for the shout out Lauren (you always have my back giiirl)
p.s. still getting the school thing locked down. if you are having teamBoo withdrawals (don't lie), just go find the nearest 10 year old boy and talk to him. That should tide you over :)
Sometimes when a guy walks wingmanless into a conversation of girls i like to immediately switch the conversation topic to tampons. First of all it gives even the cleverest of men an immediate temporary lobotomy. Second, it never takes more than three seconds for them to see themselves right out of the convo for higher and less awkward ground (which I always find hilarious).
Like men and menstruation, my soul has a similar reaction to the looming reality of "routine". But every new school year we meet again like dueling idiots (actually routine is smart and winning and i am the dummy) Instead of realizing how much simpler it can make my life and accepting it's practicality, i tense up and become useless. Or like the tampon fearing men I know, when a schedule starts to take form, i walk in the opposite direction to "somewhere i was gonna go anyway" but then I accidentally take a nap or something.
Last week my kids started the daily grind of school (suckers). And next week so will I (super sucker). Poetic timing considering the fact that I spelled "Kindergarten" wrong on Sheamus's sign. holy smokes.
For me this yearly tradition is a blessing and a curse...Curse? I feel guilt for not managing my now fractioned time with them perfectly. Or for getting up every morning before my body wills it so. Or for having to crack the whip on their freedom to play by enforcing daily chores, reading, homework and bedtimes. Boring!...but it must be done, or they'll become lazy stupes yadda yadda.
Blessing? T-I-M-E. Time to chip away at my own schooling, work my shleppy body back out of my "thanksgiving" pants, spend some one on one with my sonny boy, and do a few projects. And of course the fact that my kids are lucky enough to be out getting an education. Away from the mom who talks about tampons to be intentionally awkward and misspelled Kindergarten :)
*(The first time i wore this hat, Sheamus looked up from his legos so casually and said "well hello Perry the platypus.")
We got off to a rough start. One hay truck fire, 2 luggage carriers flying off roof rack onto the middle of the highway, 4 hour delay in what ended up being a 16 hours drive later...we arrived in NorCal (which might be our family's only standing tradition?). I am pretty easy to please on vacaysh as long as my kids aren't barfing and no one makes me have a "plan". Plans make me hate plans, and planners and planning. You'd think as a secret agent (*Perry the platypus) I would always have a plan. But that is where Perry and I differ you see. I'm crazy like that.
(how much does "plan" sound like a pretend word now?)
Sonny is also easy to please. As long as he had sand shoved into every hole of his face, he was happy. He would prop himself up head/face down like an ostrich and run his fingers through it for hours. He didn't even care when it was crusted around his eyes and running with snot into his mouth. He was so shabby. Some lady who wanted to help the poor lost baby find his irresponsible mother changed her mind about picking him up when she feared she might contract a disease. i laughed as i watched her inner struggle from 20 feet away.
Just like the summers i went there when i was 14...we had bonfires, rode roller coasters, ate ice cream, taffy and SO much garlic pizza, laid out, visited with family, gagged at all the expensive old lady linen clothing boutiques and looked for hot guys. It was perfect.
Unlike the summers i went there when i was 14...i went to bed at a very reasonable 10 o'clock, wanted to vomit after the one ride i went on, got a major garlic headache, tanned my legs only, cooked for family, read books and watched my kids have treasure hunts and eat sand (sonny) while lounging with my lover. It was perfect.
and yes. this is the only full family photo we managed to take in those 7 days. total dummies.
You know what is so annoying about blogs? It seems like everyone is always going on vacations...gag, right? I realize posting about the CA trip I'm on now just makes me a total B-hole. So instead of gloating about eating funnel cakes on the boardwalk and reading Bossypants on the beach until I almost peed - it might make you happy to know that, no matter how many vacations i've taken this summer, my kid still diarrheas when he eats too many blueberries...and I still have crotch biscuits*. Mine just might be a little tanner than yours is all.